Sample Snitcher

I’ve become one of those people.  You know the ones…the annoying sample grabbers at Costco.  They congest the flow of traffic and clip other shopper’s baskets swooping in for a morsel of overcooked chicken or stinky fish sticks.  I hate those people and now I am one of them.  Thanks, Eva.

A while back we were at Costco and it was nearing lunchtime.  I felt my stomach start to mumble that it wanted food so I figured Eva was probably hungry too.  She was probably even hungrier than I was since she doesn't eat breakfast.  I’m sure she would eat if I gave her what she asks for in the morning but my conscience prohibits me from serving cookies and chocolate chips before 9 AM.  (Good thing Eva doesn't know that I’m willing to serve them anytime after 9:01.)  Anyway, we were at Costco and I was getting hungry and there was a sample of quesadillas.  Eva loves quesadillas so I thought I’d be the nice guy and kindly sneak her a sample.  Biggest mistake of my life, second only to wearing socks with fake Birkenstocks back in 7th grade.  (Hey, everyone was doing it.)

Eva is now aware of the sample racket and she wants to be right in the middle of it.  She wants every sample from every hair-netted old woman regardless of what it is.  I do my best to avoid the sample stations but it’s impossible unless you’re only at Costco to stroll down the automotive aisle.  At every glimpse of a hairnet, Eva shouts and points, “Quesadilla?” If I don’t stop and scoop up a sample cup for her, she freaks out.  Sometimes the offering is really nasty like shredded, canned chicken but she still insists I get it for her.  When it’s gross, she just makes a mess with it and I end up with the smell of canned chicken or olive loaf on my hands for the rest of the day. 

I’ve considered just being a jerk and not let her bully me into getting her the samples.  But it really is a harmless hobby so I hesitate to extinguish her joy.  Plus, one time the sample was a whole salted caramel.  It was delicious.  I made a second lap back to that sample station and I didn’t even feel guilty about it. 

I guess my point is that even though I am annoying and standing in line behind the retired guys for a snitch of something nasty, at least Eva is quiet while I’m shopping.

That’s worth being annoying.