Memorial Day

We had big plans for Memorial Day. Big. HUGE.

We was gonna see the long-anticipated Mandalorian movie. Surely with snacks and a bucket of popcorn, Baby would sit through the movie.

Surely. 

Well, you and I are both idiots for thinking that. Baby sat through approximately 8.32 minutes of the movie. I barely had any popcorn grease on my fingertips before I had to extricate myself from the theater with a noisy 2-year-old by my side. Mykey and Sissy stayed behind to enjoy the film.

It's tough being the mom sometimes...

So - Baby and I walked around the shopping complex and fondled all the merchandise at various establishments. Then we stopped for the most woof-ity cookie I ever did eat. I had to throw away half of it because it was so unsatisfying. Can you imagine Booney throwing away a cookie? It happened. What a waste of 6 dollars. 

But it wasn't all bad. The time actually passed fairly quickly and Baby met a special someone.

Ahh, young love. Isn't it magical?

School Be Out

It was finally the last day of school! Sissy didn't want me to commemorate the day. 

Is it obvious?

After a short day at school, I took Sissy and her friend for dirty sodas and dill-pickle flavored pretzel bites. 

Yum?

Then we went as a family to Gatlinburg for a quick overnight trip to celebrate the end of 7th grade. 

And celebrate we did!

Buc-ee's burritos for lunch, naturally.

And shopping at a cute European old-world themed plaza, where Baby just wanted to ride the pony. Naturally.

We ventured up to Anakeesta where Baby and Sissy jumped on the giant trampoline net and we enjoyed the beautiful views while sweating our faces off.

 

After we gorged ourselves on chocolates from a quaint shop, we ventured back to Anakeesta at night for an epic light display among the trees. We thought Baby would be in awe of the spectacle - she was not. Instead, she ran around like a 2-year-old who was awake far beyond her bedtime. It was incredibly dark, we were walking along dirt paths high up in the forest, and Baby was zipping around dangerously close to the edge of the trails. 

It was stressful. I'm too old to be darting around the trees in the darkness. Thankfully, Sissy was a hero and ran after her little sister again and again, saving her from tumbling down the mountainside. 

Whew. 

We leisurely headed home the next day with another burrito in our bellies and plenty of fudge for the journey. With a kick-off like this, I think we're in for a mighty fine summer.

Hooray for no more school!

And the Award Goes to

I received a covert message from the school that Sissy would be honored at their end-of-school awards ceremony and to keep my big, fat mouth shut about it.

Rude. 

A few days later, away we went to the ceremony for Sissy's big event. I didn't know what award she would be receiving, but as the ceremony went on and on, Sissy's name wasn't being called for anything. 

I was getting nervous. Am I being punked?!

I discovered that I hate watching other people's dumb kids receive their dumb awards while I have to wait.

I hate waiting. 

And then...

Sissy was called!

She received 3 awards: All A's for the year, Social Studies Outstanding Student, and she was voted Most Creative by her peers. Pretty good stuff.

We celebrated by getting fancy sno cones after dinner. Sissy's was enormous and full of chocolate.

It was perfect. 

Congrats to my girl!

Spring Concert

Sissy had her last band concert of 7th grade. (Insert sad face here.)

We arrived early since the winter concert was PACKED, only to find plenty of open seats and extra time on our hands to entertain Baby in the auditorium.

You try to do something responsible...

The concert was lovely and it was nice to see and hear that Sissy does in fact play the trombone. She never plays her instrument at home and I was beginning to think that she just carries around her trombone case instead of a purse. 

We have yet to snap a quality photo at her concerts, but here's the back of her head as she walked onstage. How exciting!

The band played 3 songs: 

Blue Sky Horizon by Randall Standridge

As Twilight Falls by Robert Sheldon

Propulsion by Adrian B. Sims

They did a nice job and we enjoyed the concert immensely. Even Baby was into it and clapped feverishly at the conclusion of each piece.

I can't believe she will be an 8th grader at her next concert. I will now retire to my chambers and sob.

Hooray for Sissy!

MOM!

It was Mother's Day and I was excited for my annual Mother's Day chicken pot pie. I went ahead and purchased it myself from good ol' Sam's Club because I wasn't sure if Mykey knew that my day was fast approaching. 

Turns out he didn't.

But thankfully Walmart is open 24 hours so he could get me this bounty. 

Someone with tiny hands was eager to bust open those peach rings. Someone with sausage fingers was equally eager so it worked out for everyone.

If you're feeling uninspired and curious about what kind of Mother's Day card AI will generate for you, this is it:

The robot machine captured my beautifully stunning hair and petite waist perfectly. It's like looking in a mirror. 

Luckily Mykey wrote me a sincere note on the back. Good call on his part. He also lovingly created this sign for my desk. 

Notice anything weird? It ain't 2027 folks.

Poor Mykey and his inability to track time. We had a good chuckle and now it's displayed proudly on my desk regardless. 

We had a lazy day eating all my treats and all my chicken pot pie. 

And we also hung around on the porch drinking soda. It was bliss. 

I love being a mom. And most days I don't even mind the housework and all the other nonsense that accompanies being the mom. 

Most days. 

Happy Mother's Day to me!

Finger Nubs

We finally did it. We finished our porch. I want to point out that I personally attached all 95 balusters with my own 10 sausage fingers. Well...Mykey had to rescue me on one of them when I stripped the screw. Whoops. Mykey then assembled everything else because he is amazing that way. He was especially proud of his decision to add molding to the bottom of the posts. 

Looks purty.

When we started stripping the paint from the posts I had deep regret. Hours and hours of work trying to scrub off the 452 layers of paint. The paint stripper barely touched it. After calling my handy-woman sissy in despair, she gave me sage advice and I ended up using a combination of stripper, acetone, mineral spirits, and steel wool. Not all together, of course. I didn't want to asphyxiate myself with toxic fumes. I would toil away on the paint and then Mykey would use the sander once enough layers of paint were gone.

The worst were the rounded edges and crevices. They nearly broke my spirit. 

But we made it and boy am I happy with the outcome. I can sit on the porch in my classy camp chair and stare at our hard work. Look at our beautiful porch!

How divine.

24 for Reals

My niece turned 24 a couple of days after Mykey fossilized. She spent the day doing birthday things with her family. After she gorged on sushi for dinner, she shuffled over to my house for dessert. 

I made her a chocolate cake. In case you think I was having a stroke when I haphazardly put the candles on top - don't. Baby arranged them. (She might have been having a stroke.) 

My niece stripped her baby down to his birthday-cake-eating-outfit (it's the same thing Mykey wore), we sang the birthday ditty, and I gave her a most valuable and thoughtful gift. 

A Sam's Club size treasure of Froot by the Foot. Naturally. They were even 4th of July themed!

Now, before you start thinking I'm a schmuck, I also gave her a gift card for one free overnight babysitting. Talk about valuable. I'd say it's priceless, really. 

Happy Birthday to my young and vibrant niece!