It’s begun. Eva has started pushing back at bedtime. She used to be so sweet, so willing to get ready for bed, so willing to sleep.
Not anymore, buddy.
She fights getting her pajamas on. She fights brushing her teeth. She fights saying prayers. We’ll get her all tucked in and she’ll say, “Wait! I’m firsty.” “Wait! I’m hungry.” “Wait! I need to go potty.” “Wait! I’m just saying random crap to stall.” It drives me crazy with a capital K.
It’s now escalated into Eva actually coming out of her room after the lights are out and we expect her to be snoozing. She says really sweet things to try to woo us out of being upset. For example, she’ll open the door and say, “I need a big hug and a kiss.” What am I supposed to say to that? “No, you little weasel. I will not show you any affection. Go to sleep!” Thankfully, she’s been poking her head out of the mole hill only one or two times a night. Then she sleeps beautifully.
Not anymore, buddy.
Michael has been working long hours lately and I’ve been enduring the bedtime ritual alone. I haven’t figured out my best approach for this behavior. I’ve tried being stern; she doesn’t care. I’ve tried being nice; she doesn’t care. I’ve tried saying, “I don’t speaka the English”; she doesn’t care. With Michael gone she’s pushing with extra force. She came out of her room at least 10 times tonight with various excuses for why she couldn’t get to sleep. She needed another kiss, she wanted to snuggle, she needed a book, her water tasted old, she needed to wash her hands, blah, blah, blah. I tucked her in multiple times to the same layering routine: frog blanket that Grandma made, comforter from Ikea, regular blanket that she’s used since she was a baby. That girl would be warm in Greenland. I tickled her and sang to her and pleaded for her to go to bed.
My favorite request of the night was when she carefully opened the door a crack, peered out and requested pepperoni – 5 pepperoni to be exact.
I gave her the darn pepperoni.
3 times. If you’re terrible at mathematics, that’s 15 pepperoni slices at nearly 10:00.
You want lousy advice on parenting techniques? I just gave it to you.
That’ll be 5 pepperoni slices please.
She should have asked for a cheese stick to go with her pepperoni. Obviously she's not so smart after all
ReplyDeleteIt looks like you're going to have to resort to fear tactics. Warn her, solemnly about the monster that roams the halls after her bedtime. Then, sit outside her bedroom door shrouded in a tablecloth and disguised in a scary mask. Bet she'd only need to see something like that one time and she'd be happy to stay in her room.
ReplyDeleteP.S. The mask should have ample amounts of long, wispy hair.
Is runnergirl my sister Cam? If so, Amen. If Runnergirl is not my sister Cam would she like me to adopt her?...
ReplyDeleteOf course Runnergirl is your sister, Cam. Where do you think she got the idea of the tablecloth shroud? Certainly you haven't forgotten the "garbage man" who used to torture Jameson?
ReplyDeleteIt was poor Sammy. And I am going to burn in hell...
ReplyDelete