Eva has life figured out. She knows how to live in her own happy, carefree world. For only five easy payments of $29.95, she’s willing to help you live the same way. Here’s a peek at some of the worthwhile advice she can offer you. Make your check payable to Booney.
Sleep. If you suffer from insomnia, consider using one of the following slumber techniques.
The “Do Not Disturb”
The “Contemplative”
The “Mama”
Do your bathroom visits seem mundane? Try one of Eva’s tricks for a more pleasant experience to the throne.
The “Rock Bath”
The “Ethereal Toilet Paper”
Perhaps her best advice is to escape reality whenever you can. Be someone else for a day. It’s liberating. Eva endorses:
The “Fairy Princess”
The “Friendly Costume”
The “Headless Horseman Ballerina”
Eva also suggests that you make a new friend. And then ask where your new friend is at least four times a day. And then escape into the yard at least twelve times a day looking for your new friend. And then mistake every other kitty in the entire city for your new friend. Animal/human relationships are very therapeutic; except for the mother of the human.
If none of these brilliant ideas work for you, then you’re a real jerk.
But I’m still willing to accept your check.
I'll make payments on the strainer ensemble
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