Back East

School started today for Kitty.  I looked away for one second and summer was gone like a stolen wallet.  We had a most delightful summer...I wish it had lasted longer than one second.

Our biggest adventure of the season was flying all the way across the country to visit my punk sister who decided she must live all the way across the country.  It was a long flight - Kitty was thrilled that she could watch 3 movies in a row.  3 movies!  Thankfully my papa sent me noise-cancelling headphones for the flight.  There were a lot of screaming babies.  Poor babies.  I bet their mom's punk sister thinks it's acceptable to live all the way across the country too.

 So what kinds of things should you do when you go back East?  Well, I'll tell you.  I am now going to assault your eyeballs with a gazillion pictures and trip details.  And you'd better like it.

You should go to Boston.  If you're a male, go bake in the sun at a Red Sox game then ride the cramped and stinky subway.  If you're a female, be a responsible adult and wear sunscreen.  Then go on the Freedom Trail.  You might get lost and just wander around the city, but it will still be fun.  Climb all 294 steps to the top of the Bunker Hill monument and sweat like a horse that just climbed 294 steps. Eat delicious Italian ice and treats from an Italian bakery.  Then stand in line forever to eat pizza that seems like it can't possibly be worth the wait, but it will be.  Unless your name is Michael, then you will think it was just OK.  Weirdo.

You should also visit the Chatham seals, play in the ocean along Cape Cod, and see the Nauset lighthouse.  Then eat cupcakes in the parking lot to celebrate my niece's birthday.  Make sure you go in June when it's her birthday or else eating cupcakes in the parking lot would be odd.

Another worthwhile event is flying kites and looking at the tide pools at Brenton Point.  My punk sister will bring a delightful muffaletta sandwich, and you can eat a Del's frozen lemonade while there.  Everyone in Rhode Island is mental about Del's.  You should eat one just to see what all the fuss is about.  The only downside to this activity is my dad will slip on a rock and fall into a seething pile of stinky, rotting ocean slime.  You will have to stand in the muck surrounded by a colony of flies while lending him a hand.  Warning: it will violently induce your gag reflex.  You will momentarily consider just leaving him there to be sucked into the slime, but don't do that.  Once the smell has left your nostrils, you should eat at a clam shack for din din, but watch out for Jaws.

I think you would really like to check out Minuteman park.  But on the way there, have my niece hit the granite curb and pop my punk sister's tire so you can't actually go to Minuteman park.  Spend the day at a city park instead, which will be wonderfully relaxing.  Eat as many peanut M&M's as you'd like.  Stay there until an impromptu thunderstorm sends you sprinting for the car.  Then see the state capitol building.  It is beautiful.

On Sunday you should attend church services and then my niece's baptism.  Although, you'll have to find someone else's baptism to watch since hers is already over.  It will be a really nice day and you can eat more chocolate.  In the evening you can go down to the ocean shore and pick up trash with my punk sister.

Are you tired yet or shall we keep forging ahead on our wonderful vacation?  Let's forge ahead.  You certainly don't want to miss visiting Lowell, Massachusetts.  Learn about the woolen mills and take a trolley and boat ride.  It will be a highlight of the trip and you'll be especially grateful that my dad paid for the boat tickets.  He's generous that way.

What trip back East is complete without seeing ol'Lady Liberty?  She will take your breath away and remind you how blessed you are to live in our spectacular nation.  You will have to arise at an obscene hour in the morning to head out, and you won't return until an obscene hour at night.  You will be stuck in obscene traffic and wonder how people can live like this.  But it will be worth it. Especially when you climb to the top of her crown and look out.  Absolutely worth it. Trust me on this one.  Don't forget to stop off at Ellis Island and find the manifest from when my brother-in-law's dad came over from Sweden.  It will be another sweet reminder of how blessed we are in this nation.

You're probably feeling a bit weary by now.  I know just what you need.  A day at Goddard Memorial Park.  It is relaxing, right by the ocean, and my punk sister will pack a bunch of food and games.  Unless you're a hard-hearted jerk, you'll like it.  Are you a hard-hearted jerk?

For your final shebang, take a ferry over to Bristol and see a 4th of July parade.  It's important you're there on the 4th of July or people will think you're a weirdo asking about a parade in November.  It will be hot and the parade will be long, but you can eat more frozen lemonade and have a nice time people-watching.  Then head back on the ferry and let the kids have a dance-off while dinner is being made.  Watch the fireworks and then drag your weary bones to bed for your final night back East.

It will be really sad to say good-bye to my punk sister.  You will wish you could stay just a few more days.  You will be incredibly grateful for close family relationships and will cherish the memories of the time you flew all the way across the country.

Even though you will be exhausted by the time you make it home, you will be happy you made the remarkable trip.

Now start saving your dimes so you can go!  And take me with you when you do...I know all the good places.   

School's Out

Kitty finished Kindergarten way back in June and since we're almost ready to start 1st grade, I figure now is the time to talk about the last day of school.

It was sad and exciting and super hot outside.

It was super hot outside because I volunteered for Field Day.  Had I not volunteered, it would have been a perfect 72°.  I guarantee it. 

Here's Kitty on the first and last day of school.

The biggest change is all those missing teeth!  She lost a lot this year.  What a cute Kitty I have.

Here we are at Field Day.  I was in charge of a game called the Fireman's relay.  The kids had to fill a pail with water, pass it down the line, and dump it into a bucket at the end.  The first team to fill their bucket won.  It was a fun game but involved a lot of cheering  and herding on my part.  My froat hurt at the end.

And here's her teacher, Mrs. Nielsen.  She was amazing and I'm incredibly grateful for the way she watched out for Kitty all year. She gave Kitty a fantastic start to her school career.  I'm so sad Kindergarten is over.

Now on to 1st grade! (I'm wailing inside)

Fahja's Day

Ah, Father's Day.  That wonderful day dedicated to the glorious fathers of the world.  I went all out this year. (Wink, wink)

I didn't get Michael a present because he said he didn't need anything.  I was too lazy to think up a gift on my own.

I didn't make him a dessert because we were off sugar.

I didn't remember the steaks on the grill and incinerated them.  Whoops.

But before you start feeling bad for Michael, it was still a wonderful day.

I did cook the cheesy potatoes to perfection.

I did write him a love letter.  Don't ask to see proof - it's private you perv.

I did watch Superman and Superman II with him.

I did birth him a beautiful daughter who wrote him a sweet book at school.

See?  A wonderful day indeed.  Happy Father's Day to Michael!

Dancin' till Dawn

Once upon a time, Kitty danced in a recital.  She danced as a caterpillar and was the cutest caterpillar you ever did see. 

Her mother volunteered backstage for the first night's performance.  Her mother wasn't the cutest volunteer you ever did see, but she was the most indignant.  You see, Kitty's mother didn't actually want to volunteer because that constitutes work, and Kitty's mother always errs on the side of lazy.  However, Kitty's mother felt obligated to volunteer since Kitty's dance teacher is a friend.

This is why Kitty's mother shouldn't have friends. 

The recital was long.  Too long.  The children were tired and bored.  Very tired and bored.  The rooms backstage didn't have air conditioning and were sweltering.  Very sweltering.  Kitty's mother wasn't happy.  Very not happy.  The entire volunteering ordeal ended up lasting 5 and one half hours.  5 and a half hours!  Kitty's mother may have snapped near the end and raised her voice at the studio's office manager, when said office manager was all up in her business about misplacing a piece of paper.  Kitty's mother may have done that.  And she was justified.

Kitty danced beautifully and then cried all the way home.  Kitty said she never wanted to do a recital again.

Kitty's mother agreed.

But...there were a few fun moments.

Like playing with the tablet.  What happens when you give a kid a tablet?  Ten other kids swarm over.

 And the second night Kitty's mother got to be in the audience and not worry about the chaos swirling backstage.  She watched the cutest little caterpillar you ever did see dance beautifully, and then she took her caterpillar home at intermission.

It was the right decision.

Kitty may never dance in another recital again and that's okay with her mother.  If Kitty opts out of recitals, her mother won't have to worry about volunteering anymore.

And they will all live happily ever after.

How many more?

Ten hundred million.

That's the number of dollars the Tooth Fairy has spent on Kitty thus far.

And then she went ahead and lost another tooth. It was number 6 and her second front tooth.  She looks like a real-live kid without her 2 front teeth.  The good news is that her teeth will likely grow in as giant beaver teeth.  It's one of those genetic gifts I've given her.

You're welcome.

Kitty starts planning her requests for the Tooth Fairy long before her teeth are even loose.  I chalk this up to greed.  Another genetic gift I've given her.

Again, You're welcome.

I moved this note and cleaned around it for weeks leading up to the actual day of tooth ejection.

I also scoured the internet looking for a velvet cat statue so I wouldn't be caught off-guard when the day actually arrived.  Do you know how hard it is to find a velvet cat statue?  It's hard!  Even the internet doesn't know where to find one.  I finally found a flocked bobble head of the cat from the new Captain Marvel movie.  I was extraordinarily pleased with myself and congratulated this old mama on her resourcefulness and preparedness.

The day Kitty actually lost her tooth, I giggled that I indeed had a velvet cat statue waiting in the closet.  Then she informed me that she would be asking the Tooth Fairy for something else.  Something like this:

A Marble Wubble and a stuffed skunk?  What?  Oh, heck no.  Kitty was getting a velvet cat statue.  THE velvet cat statue sitting on the closet shelf that I painstakingly found on the interweb.  She threw a bit of a fit when I prepped her for the possibility that the Tooth Fairy had already purchased her gift.  I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.

Thankfully, Kitty was appeased by the Tooth Fairy's explanation as to why she was getting a cat and not a skunk.  Myke's good at those explanation letters.  I did not contribute to his genetic ability.

Sorry.

It all turned out ok in the end.  I don't care what the Boy Scouts say, it did not benefit me to be prepared.  I will go back to sending Michael to Walgreens at an obscene hour from now on.

You're welcome.

Infestation

I think we have a vermin problem.

Vermin of the feline variety.

The human Kitty has carefully named them all.  I'll tell you their names.  From L to R:

Shyrie, Duchess, Sophie, Princess, Fantasia, Itty Bitty Kitty - she's the one leaning against Fantasia.  She really is itty-bitty - Alassia, Rainbow, Mother Cat with her nursing kitties: Isabella, Luna, and Calissa, Moonlight, Tasha, and Princess Fifi.  Bebe the Cat is in my Kitty's lap.

That’s 16 pet cats at our house.

Isn’t there some kind of law against such recklessness?  Well, there should be.

Somebody please turn us in.

Mama's Day

There once was a month called May, and a day in May called "Mother's Day."  Let me tell you about mine, because I had a glorious Mother's Day!  I must first admit that I've been a jerk about this holiday for the past couple of years.  I have impossible expectations - it's a problem.  Unfortunately, I have scarred my poor old husband by acting like a buffoon every year.  He needs thicker skin.  Or I need less buffoon-ness.  It's debatable who needs to change.  BUT - I set this point aside and decided  not to be a jerk this year, but to appreciate any effort that my family put into celebrating instead.

It's amazing how pleasant things are when I'm not a jerk.

I received a book from my sweet Kitty that she made at school.  Here's the front cover:

And the pages inside:

The way she spelled my name is actually kind of brilliant.  There is a girl in her class named Yanna, with the ä sound.  Put it with the Bre, and there ya go.  I would also like to point out that Kitty is accusing me of not being good at keeping track of time.  Um, excuse me, but I'm always harping on her that we need to hurry and we're going to be late BECAUSE SHE HAS NO CONCEPT OF TIME.  I always know exactly what time it is and exactly how many minutes we have until I sweat completely through my clothes from attempting to corral Kitty into our vehicle.

Not good at keeping track of time?  Psssh. 

At least she made up for the insult with these valuable coupons.  Which reminds me, I need to redeem that massage.

And here's the back cover.  A beautiful piece of artwork indeed.  That's the genie from Aladdin coming out of his bottle - with a kitty, of course.

Mykey bought me a fancy new blow dryer and made me Costco ravioli lasagna with garlic bread for dinner.  It was delicious!  And ice cream bars for dessert.  I may have eaten 2 within 5 minutes.  Maybe.  I'm not so good at keeping track of time.

The day was topped off with a bouquet of flowers that Kitty made at church out of her hand prints.

My, what a spectacular day!  I'm so glad I wasn't a jerk this year!