Finger Nubs

We finally did it. We finished our porch. I want to point out that I personally attached all 95 balusters with my own 10 sausage fingers. Well...Mykey had to rescue me on one of them when I stripped the screw. Whoops. Mykey then assembled everything else because he is amazing that way. He was especially proud of his decision to add molding to the bottom of the posts. 

Looks purty.

When we started stripping the paint from the posts I had deep regret. Hours and hours of work trying to scrub off the 452 layers of paint. The paint stripper barely touched it. After calling my handy-woman sissy in despair, she gave me sage advice and I ended up using a combination of stripper, acetone, mineral spirits, and steel wool. Not all together, of course. I didn't want to asphyxiate myself with toxic fumes. I would toil away on the paint and then Mykey would use the sander once enough layers of paint were gone.

The worst were the rounded edges and crevices. They nearly broke my spirit. 

But we made it and boy am I happy with the outcome. I can sit on the porch in my classy camp chair and stare at our hard work. Look at our beautiful porch!

How divine.

24 for Reals

My niece turned 24 a couple of days after Mykey fossilized. She spent the day doing birthday things with her family. After she gorged on sushi for dinner, she shuffled over to my house for dessert. 

I made her a chocolate cake. In case you think I was having a stroke when I haphazardly put the candles on top - don't. Baby arranged them. (She might have been having a stroke.) 

My niece stripped her baby down to his birthday-cake-eating-outfit (it's the same thing Mykey wore), we sang the birthday ditty, and I gave her a most valuable and thoughtful gift. 

A Sam's Club size treasure of Froot by the Foot. Naturally. They were even 4th of July themed!

Now, before you start thinking I'm a schmuck, I also gave her a gift card for one free overnight babysitting. Talk about valuable. I'd say it's priceless, really. 

Happy Birthday to my young and vibrant niece!

50 for Reals

This guy is 50. Weird.

Even weirder is that I still love him. I wonder how old he'll be when I'm completely disgusted by his oldness. Stay tuned.

So what do you do with a guy who's 50? You put him to work so his joints don't lock up. 

After his chores are done, he can have a nice, juicy steak dinner.

And creme brulee for dessert. 

And then he can have a fun card. 

Gifts are tricky for 50-year-olds since they've been around for so long they have everything they need. But candy from his daughter always works.

And if you're the wife, give him money towards a dust collection system for his saws and such. He'll like it.

Sounds like he had a great day.

Happy 50th birthday to Mykey!

Music in the Parks

Being a band kid finally paid off for Sissy this Spring. Her band performed in a festival and then partied at Dollywood for the day. Parents were invited to be chaperones for the low, low price of $125. Hmmm...spending the day at a theme park with a load of middle schoolers AND having to be responsible for keeping them alive and well?

No thank you. 

But I do appreciate those parents who are generous enough to watch after my middle schooler all day long. And I do mean all day. They met at the school before 8am and didn't return until nearly 11pm. 

Oh, and it rained on and off for the entirety.

Good thing I'm too lazy and cheap to be a chaperone.

But Sissy had a great time. Their performance earned a superior rating and they took 1st place in their group. Hooray!

Sissy also successfully conquered her fear of rollercoasters, drained my phone battery, and spent every penny of the money I gave her.

It was a triumphant Saturday indeed. 

Congratulations to Sissy!

Adjectives

How to describe my Baby:

Fashion forward

Animal advocate

Weather witting

Rollicking roller

Bubble blaster

Cat food connoisseur

Perhaps you also noticed that Baby is only wearing pajamas. She refuses to don regular clothes. 

Hey, quit judging me. 

Pre-Birthday Bash

My darling husband has a birthday coming up. We won't talk about the fact that he's turning 50. (Shudder) We WILL talk about the fact that his birthday is on a Thursday this year. Thursday! To maximize the number of people who could attend his 50th birthday dinner, we held it early on a Sunday. 

My cousin and his family came over, my niece and her family came over, and my niece's mother-in-law was in town so we allowed her to come over too. Lasagna was on the menu. It was DIVINE.

Mykey chose cheesecake as his fabulous birthday treat, and his birthday buddy chose strawberry rhubarb pie. 

Unfortunately, I couldn't find rhubarb anywhere. I went to 5 grocery stores and finally admitted defeat. 

So he changed his mind and requested anything berry. I went triple berry and it was DIVINE.

Don't worry - I will make him a strawberry rhubarb pie whenever I stumble upon the elusive rhubarb.

My cousin gave Mykey a Lego minifig display case and 3 figures to begin his collection: Sloth from Goonies, Chewbacca, and a guy in a hot dog suit. It was perfect. 

My only faux pas was that I forgot to get the candles out for the Happy Birthday song. I remembered as we were eating our dessert. Myke's birthday buddy was turning 47 and I said, "Well, great! Now what am I supposed to do with this 4 and 7 candle? Who's turning 4 or 7 this year? No one! Who else is turning 47? No one!"

And then the crowd pointed out that Booney is turning 47 this year. Use the candles for her. I was embarrassed and ashamed that I'm going to be so old that I've lost all critical thinking skills.

Ah, well. Just add it to the list of things I've lost. It can go right underneath "bladder control."

It was a wonderful evening and I was grateful to have my home full of people who love my 50-year-old husband.

Happy early birthday, boys!

Nerds Reunite

The nerd band got back together and scampered down to the Maker Faire, a carnival of nerd displays. The nerds show off their nerdy gadgets and their nerdy knick-knacks and they all coalesce into one big nerd. 

It's heaven. (For a nerd)

My tribe had a wonderful time perusing the displays and soaking in the whimsy of nerd land. And then when they were finished, they ate Chick-Fil-A and wandered home.

Not a bad way to spend a Saturday.

My cousin nerd even managed to build a parachute contraption that launched inside a wind tunnel. He was lauded as having the best floater of the day. Wait. That sounds fecal-ish. Let's just say that he was the best flyer of the day. Huzzah!

Baby and I stayed home and fiddled around. And by "fiddled around" I mean that I spent the day cooking lasagnas and pie and cheesecake for Mykey's upcoming birthday bash. But we did manage to sneak in some pool time so it was a successful day for all.

I love a good, nerdy Saturday.

Oh, Mr. Sun

The ol' fireball himself decided to shine his rays upon us.

When Mr. Sun is ablaze, there's only one thing to do...get out the inflatable pool from Grandma and Grandpa!

And bask in the warmth of the radiation of course. (We always wear our sunglasses. To protect our eyes from the sun.)

And then we enjoy a nice cold hot dog. (Of course)

It must be genetic. You can thank my dad for that one.

Hooray for warmer days!

Destructo

Let's get wild. Let's do something crazy. I know! Let's tear the front porch to pieces. 

Now, why in the world would we do that? Well...because of things like this:

 And this:

And this:

Thems are Carpenter Bee tunnels right there. Carpenter Bees are nasty creatures and I hate them. Board after board was tunneled through by those vermin. Even after we tore everything out, those jerks kept hovering around trying to find new places to bore. 

I hate 'em!

We are leaving the support posts in place and will strip and repaint them. Then we are replacing all of the balusters and railings with metal and composite materials. I'd like to see those bees try to bore through metal.

Take that you buttheads.

Easter Weekend - Part 2

We awoke Easter morning to light rain outside. The moisture intensified the colors of the awakening springtime blooms, and accentuated nature's rebirth. It was the perfect backdrop to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

I love Easter. I love the truth that death is not final. I love the comfort that accompanies my certain knowledge that Jesus Christ is real. It's one of my favorite days of the entire year.

In addition to celebrating our Savior, we also celebrated the heathen Easter bunny cuz that's fun too - and he brings cool stuff.

We couldn't get Sissy out of bed to claim her terrific heathen offerings, but luckily Baby had enough excitement for both of them. 

We started right in on the chocolate bunny. Naturally.

And then cooed over our new baby doll. I dare you not to say, "Awwwww."

Michael and I gave up sugar for Lent. So, after 40 days of abstaining, it was delightful to imbibe in candy, chocolate, and monkey bread for General Conference. 

Well, delightful until I felt like I was going to vomit. 

We went to my cousin's house for our tradition of watching Conference together. My nausea had subsided by then so I was able to graze on peanut butter M&M's. Thank goodness. 

Baby and Sissy did the requisite sit-ups during the singing. You see - if you're gonna spend the entire conference session eating garbage, you gotta squeeze in some exercise.   

We closed out the day with dying eggs. (Sissy is currently obsessed with Hamilton. Is it obvious?)

It was a wonderful day of spiritual and physical feasts - thank you Honey Baked Ham, et al.

Happy Easter!