Odd Man Out

 Remember that Sesame Street song? 

"One of these things is not like the others, 

One of these things just doesn't belong, 

Can you tell which thing is not like the others, 

By the time I finish my song?"

Remember that song?  Well, I bet you didn't realize this ditty was written about me. You see, Kitty and Mykey have a special bond that doesn't include me.   

The name is Bond...Nerd Bond.    

Here are just a few examples of how I don't belong in their kingdom of nerd.

I don't speak Binary code.

I don't want to snuggle with a cat.

I don't have a Darth Vader face mask.

I don't have a messy office.

I don't understand this sign.

Yes, the Nerd Bond is strong with these two. 

And it warms my dimwitted heart.  

Entrepreneur

 Kitty is a business owner!

Unfortunately, business has been slow because of Covid.

But once those mandates are lifted, she'll be RICH!

Father's Day

I know how to make sure the father in my house has a most spectacular Father's Day.

One word: food

Like steak.

And potatoes.

And treats.

That gigantic Hershey kiss is a Rice Krispie treat that Kitty and I lovingly molded and wrapped in yards and yards of foil.  It was delicious.  We also lovingly collected rocks outside and made the father in our house a craft.  

And Kitty made a sweet note for her father.  

Yes, it was a most spectacular Father's Day indeed!

Mother's Day

Have you ever been watching a cooking show and thought, "Wow!  That looks delicious.  I must make that immediately!"?

I thought that recently about a chocolate hazelnut torte I saw on TV.  Mother's Day seemed like the perfect date to try it out.

Mykey graciously made dinner.

And I graciously made myself a torte.

It looked so inviting and incredibly delicious.  I was extremely excited as I wrapped my big lips around my first enormous bite.  As I began chewing my first enormous bite,  I remembered a minor detail.

I don't like hazelnuts.  Like, at all.

Poo.

That dadgum torte tasted like dirt.  Because that's what hazelnuts taste like - a big 'ol pile of dirt.  But don't worry, the day wasn't a complete waste.  Kitty made me a nice note.

And then she gave me a nice mess to clean up in the bathroom.

Ah, Motherhood.  Sometimes it's like a chocolate hazelnut torte - it looks mighty appealing but can end up being just a big 'ol pile of dirt.

Old Man River

My husband apparently thinks I want to be married to a 44-year-old.

So he went ahead and turned 44.

Now what am I supposed to do?

Sigh.  I had no choice but to celebrate his birthday.  And like a good wifey, I took him hiking.  I even attempted taking an attractive selfie with him.  But we failed because we're old now.  Uhhh...I mean...he's old now.

Larger sigh.

No matter. I'm such a good wifey I bought him an ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins and let him eat a cheeseburger and fries for dinner - even though I could hear his old heart groaning beneath the grease.

Kitty bought him a nerd toy - a mini Sphero. They get each other.

I bought him a new office chair for his old back.  It took 6 weeks to arrive.  Apparently it rolled itself to our house from the East Coast.

Alright, I guess I'll keep the old guy.  (But not much longer.)

Happy Birthday, Mykey!

Indulgences

How much wood could a Kitty chuck if a Kitty chews popsicles in the tub?

A lot.

2-Wheeler

We finally taught Kitty how to ride a bike without training wheels.  I've been prodding her for a couple of years and she has resisted greatly.  Every time I asked she would respond, "When I'm 8."

I didn't approve of that timeline.  Kitty is far too intelligent to be postponing training-wheel removal until she's 8.  I refuse to have a scaredy cat.  So - like all of my good parenting decisions, I told her she didn't have a choice and I forced her to learn.  

Before you go tsking your finger at me, we did take her to the sporting goods store and let her choose out whatever bike she wanted to learn on.  I didn't even squawk at the price tag.  Inside I was bellering like a banshee that she didn't have a defined budget but I held it in.  Now that's good parenting.

Kitty sure chose herself a beauty.

All said and done, Kitty did great!  We had some frustrating moments and elevated voices, but overall she caught on pretty quickly.  Unfortunately for me, her father wasn't much help.  He was nursing a back injury and couldn't handle the weight of holding her up on the bike.  I had no intention of being hands-on in this bike-riding lesson, but there I was, panting alongside Kitty like a dog chasing the mailman.  Father dear stood around getting a back massage instead.  Rough life.

A few more trips to the high school parking lot and Kitty was a pro.

Now...what can I force her to learn next?