How many more?

Ten hundred million.

That's the number of dollars the Tooth Fairy has spent on Kitty thus far.

And then she went ahead and lost another tooth. It was number 6 and her second front tooth.  She looks like a real-live kid without her 2 front teeth.  The good news is that her teeth will likely grow in as giant beaver teeth.  It's one of those genetic gifts I've given her.

You're welcome.

Kitty starts planning her requests for the Tooth Fairy long before her teeth are even loose.  I chalk this up to greed.  Another genetic gift I've given her.

Again, You're welcome.

I moved this note and cleaned around it for weeks leading up to the actual day of tooth ejection.

I also scoured the internet looking for a velvet cat statue so I wouldn't be caught off-guard when the day actually arrived.  Do you know how hard it is to find a velvet cat statue?  It's hard!  Even the internet doesn't know where to find one.  I finally found a flocked bobble head of the cat from the new Captain Marvel movie.  I was extraordinarily pleased with myself and congratulated this old mama on her resourcefulness and preparedness.

The day Kitty actually lost her tooth, I giggled that I indeed had a velvet cat statue waiting in the closet.  Then she informed me that she would be asking the Tooth Fairy for something else.  Something like this:

A Marble Wubble and a stuffed skunk?  What?  Oh, heck no.  Kitty was getting a velvet cat statue.  THE velvet cat statue sitting on the closet shelf that I painstakingly found on the interweb.  She threw a bit of a fit when I prepped her for the possibility that the Tooth Fairy had already purchased her gift.  I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.

Thankfully, Kitty was appeased by the Tooth Fairy's explanation as to why she was getting a cat and not a skunk.  Myke's good at those explanation letters.  I did not contribute to his genetic ability.

Sorry.

It all turned out ok in the end.  I don't care what the Boy Scouts say, it did not benefit me to be prepared.  I will go back to sending Michael to Walgreens at an obscene hour from now on.

You're welcome.

Infestation

I think we have a vermin problem.

Vermin of the feline variety.

The human Kitty has carefully named them all.  I'll tell you their names.  From L to R:

Shyrie, Duchess, Sophie, Princess, Fantasia, Itty Bitty Kitty - she's the one leaning against Fantasia.  She really is itty-bitty - Alassia, Rainbow, Mother Cat with her nursing kitties: Isabella, Luna, and Calissa, Moonlight, Tasha, and Princess Fifi.  Bebe the Cat is in my Kitty's lap.

That’s 16 pet cats at our house.

Isn’t there some kind of law against such recklessness?  Well, there should be.

Somebody please turn us in.

Mama's Day

There once was a month called May, and a day in May called "Mother's Day."  Let me tell you about mine, because I had a glorious Mother's Day!  I must first admit that I've been a jerk about this holiday for the past couple of years.  I have impossible expectations - it's a problem.  Unfortunately, I have scarred my poor old husband by acting like a buffoon every year.  He needs thicker skin.  Or I need less buffoon-ness.  It's debatable who needs to change.  BUT - I set this point aside and decided  not to be a jerk this year, but to appreciate any effort that my family put into celebrating instead.

It's amazing how pleasant things are when I'm not a jerk.

I received a book from my sweet Kitty that she made at school.  Here's the front cover:

And the pages inside:

The way she spelled my name is actually kind of brilliant.  There is a girl in her class named Yanna, with the ä sound.  Put it with the Bre, and there ya go.  I would also like to point out that Kitty is accusing me of not being good at keeping track of time.  Um, excuse me, but I'm always harping on her that we need to hurry and we're going to be late BECAUSE SHE HAS NO CONCEPT OF TIME.  I always know exactly what time it is and exactly how many minutes we have until I sweat completely through my clothes from attempting to corral Kitty into our vehicle.

Not good at keeping track of time?  Psssh. 

At least she made up for the insult with these valuable coupons.  Which reminds me, I need to redeem that massage.

And here's the back cover.  A beautiful piece of artwork indeed.  That's the genie from Aladdin coming out of his bottle - with a kitty, of course.

Mykey bought me a fancy new blow dryer and made me Costco ravioli lasagna with garlic bread for dinner.  It was delicious!  And ice cream bars for dessert.  I may have eaten 2 within 5 minutes.  Maybe.  I'm not so good at keeping track of time.

The day was topped off with a bouquet of flowers that Kitty made at church out of her hand prints.

My, what a spectacular day!  I'm so glad I wasn't a jerk this year!

43 Smackers

This guy had another birthday.

Now he's 43.  Yikes!  In the words of my dear Mother, "I didn't think people lived that long."

Hear, hear.

He may be old and moldy, but we still like him.  Most of the time.  Except when we're having hormonal surges.  But we don't talk about those times.

We can, however, talk about the delicious prime rib we had for dinner.

And the divine annual chocolate cream pie.

Eva made him a card and a drew a picture of the two of them together.  It was adorable.

I gave him a gift certificate to have his car detailed.  Not quite as adorable, but very needed.

It was a wonderful day and we sure are glad to have this old man in our family.

Happy birthday, Mykey!

Funny Kitty

I love having a kid around.  She makes me chuckle all the time.  Here are some funny comments from Kitty lately.

Combing her hair:

Kitty: "I can't wait for the fair."

Me: "Yeah, we did have a good time last summer."

Kitty: "Yeah, but no Shockwave ride this year.  I learned my lesson.  That made my tummy roll-baby-roll!"

In the car:

I was wearing an especially itchy shirt.  We were out running errands and I couldn't satisfy the itch on my neck and back.  I was clawing at my skin as we drove down the road and exclaimed to Kitty, "I don't know what's making me so itchy but it's driving me crazy!"

Kitty casually replied, "You probably have fleas."

At bedtime:

We were reading scriptures when Kitty climbed onto my lap, wrapped her arms around my neck, and hugged me tightly. She then kissed me a couple of times and said, "I love you, Mama.  Being with you makes me feel like I have a hundred cats."


Getting the mail:

Our mailbox is down the street from our house so we often take the dog for a walk to retrieve our mail.  Kitty brought along a bag full of stuffed animals for our walk, and was carefully cradling one and gently singing it a lullaby to get it to sleep.

Of course, she had to pause to climb something and tasked Michael with cuddling her baby kitty.

After a moment of being a statue, she hopped down and promptly announced, "I need my kitty back.  Unfortunately, you don't know anything about babies, Daddy."

Again at bedtime

We were talking about when Christ was resurrected.

Me: "What does it mean to be resurrected?"

Kitty: "It means you come back alive after you die."  Then she paused and with an emphatic wave of her hand added, "But not as a zombie."


Hiking:

We were walking down the trail pretending to be hunting for a big, black bear.  Kitty was up front, leading the charge.  Suddenly she says, "Ah! There's the bear!  Up ahead."

She quickly runs behind me, pushes me forward and shouts,  "Sorry, Mom.  You're the bait!"

Hmmm...I think that's the very definition of motherhood.

Easter

Here's the thing about parenting - the longer it goes on, the lazier I become.  Did I mention my daughter is only 6?

Hmmmm.

Anyway, last Easter I agreed to throw a big party for my little kitty.  It was a great success and lots of fun.  This year she asked for another big party, and can you guess what I said?  Remember, I'm a year lazier now so I said, "Well, dear daughter, that was a whole lotta work last year.  So...ain't gonna happen."

However, I did agree to let her have only an Easter egg hunt in our backyard.  I even let her invite school friends.  That's love right there.  And, I made confetti eggs out of real eggs again - with no help from my helper.  In fact, now that I think about it, no one around here should be complaining about my so-called "laziness."

It was a grand success and lasted a little over an hour.  Perfecto!

Our grass was embarrassingly overgrown but that turned out to be the ideal landscape for hiding eggs!  Who knew that my so-called "laziness" in not mowing the lawn would be such a benefit?

The next day the Easter Bunny surprised Kitty with a basket full of treasures.  A balancing bird, mosaic art kit, and treats.

I bought Kitty a York bunny.  I think the Easter Bunny would have liked to get it for her but Kitty saw it in the grocery cart despite heroic efforts to hide it under my purse and other items.  So I bought it for her instead.

That Easter Bunny needs to be a little more wise and inconspicuous.

She took the balancing bird to church and immediately got to work on her York bunny and mosaic art project.  Easter was a roaring success.

Except for one little fail...someone completely forgot about dying eggs.  That someone made a mental note to boil eggs on Saturday night, yet somehow became distracted.  Maybe by ice cream.  Who knows.  I even bought 2 egg dying kits but shoved them into the cupboard and forgot they were there.  I mean...someone did that.

Hey, no one else seemed to notice we forgot to dye eggs so there ya go.  Must not be important.

I truly love Easter.  Not just for the fun of hiding eggs and eating candy, but for the chance to talk with my daughter about our Savior and the miracle of His life and Atonement on our behalf.

I know that my Redeemer lives!  Happy Easter!

Gross, Gross, Gross

With the introduction of Kindergarten into our lives, came the introduction of 17 bazillion new germs and viruses.

Kitty has been sick a lot this year.

Our latest dance with parasites included vomiting.  I hate vomit.  Seeing or smelling vomit makes me vomit.  I can't deal with it.

Kitty threw up early in the morning but, thankfully, Michael was home and took care of it.  He tenderly cleaned her up and put her disease-ridden pillow and bedding into the laundry room.  One problem -  he didn't actually wash any of it; he just stacked it on top of the other dirty clothes on the floor.  Days later - directly after eating lunch - I naively opened the door to the laundry room and nearly died from the wafting puke stench.

He gets one good mark for taking care of our daughter, and one demerit for not putting the stinky mess into the washing machine.

Poor Kitty puked a few times that day.  I was giving her grape juice to at least try to keep her hydrated, but she couldn't keep it down.

She would puke and I would keep the bucket as far from my gaze and olfactory organs as possible while I emptied it.  After one incident, I was holding the bucket-o-vomit at arm's length when Kitty exclaimed, "Look at it.  You'll like it."  Then in a singsong voice added, "It's purrr-ple!"

Yes, purple is my favorite color, but I DON'T WANT TO ADMIRE YOUR PURPLE PUKE.

I hate Kindergarten germs.