Eva’s Best Friend

Our dog went to the vet a few weeks ago to get his shots.  As it turned out, he also had infections in his ear and on his skin.  The vet also suspected he might have fleas.  I was instantly disgusted that this infected flea-bag was in my house.  I also felt guilty that I hadn’t noticed he wasn’t feeling well.  It’s obvious that I am not a multi-tasking nurturer.  (I wonder if Myke has some kind of ailment I haven’t noticed.)  

Anyway, 5 prescriptions later, he was healed.  I tell you this because the vet also pointed out that the dog is overweight.  Well, of course he is.  He’s a member of my family and we love food.  It’s what we do.  I instantly knew why our pooch is a fatty-fatty-two-by-four:  Eva.

She feeds him from the table and he lingers around her waiting for any scrap he can get.  It’s like he’s at Costco waiting in line for a sample.  However, they are just so cute together that I can’t bring myself to shoo him away from the table.     

I guess this means their bond is worth having a fatso dog.  

Purple Throne

Eva has been sitting in my colander lately.  Everyday, in fact.  I really don’t know what goes through her mind.

But at least she’s interested in reading about Noah’s ark.

I wish she’d be interested in wearing pants.

It’s the same wish I have for Michael.  He says pants suffocate his legs. 

Whatta couple of weirdos.

Sample Snitcher

I’ve become one of those people.  You know the ones…the annoying sample grabbers at Costco.  They congest the flow of traffic and clip other shopper’s baskets swooping in for a morsel of overcooked chicken or stinky fish sticks.  I hate those people and now I am one of them.  Thanks, Eva.

A while back we were at Costco and it was nearing lunchtime.  I felt my stomach start to mumble that it wanted food so I figured Eva was probably hungry too.  She was probably even hungrier than I was since she doesn't eat breakfast.  I’m sure she would eat if I gave her what she asks for in the morning but my conscience prohibits me from serving cookies and chocolate chips before 9 AM.  (Good thing Eva doesn't know that I’m willing to serve them anytime after 9:01.)  Anyway, we were at Costco and I was getting hungry and there was a sample of quesadillas.  Eva loves quesadillas so I thought I’d be the nice guy and kindly sneak her a sample.  Biggest mistake of my life, second only to wearing socks with fake Birkenstocks back in 7th grade.  (Hey, everyone was doing it.)

Eva is now aware of the sample racket and she wants to be right in the middle of it.  She wants every sample from every hair-netted old woman regardless of what it is.  I do my best to avoid the sample stations but it’s impossible unless you’re only at Costco to stroll down the automotive aisle.  At every glimpse of a hairnet, Eva shouts and points, “Quesadilla?” If I don’t stop and scoop up a sample cup for her, she freaks out.  Sometimes the offering is really nasty like shredded, canned chicken but she still insists I get it for her.  When it’s gross, she just makes a mess with it and I end up with the smell of canned chicken or olive loaf on my hands for the rest of the day. 

I’ve considered just being a jerk and not let her bully me into getting her the samples.  But it really is a harmless hobby so I hesitate to extinguish her joy.  Plus, one time the sample was a whole salted caramel.  It was delicious.  I made a second lap back to that sample station and I didn’t even feel guilty about it. 

I guess my point is that even though I am annoying and standing in line behind the retired guys for a snitch of something nasty, at least Eva is quiet while I’m shopping.

That’s worth being annoying. 

Hideout

Snacks always taste better in a fort.

Just ask Eva.

I couldn’t find her and when I called out she yelled back, “I’m hiding!”

I should probably tell her that calling out from your hiding spot defeats the purpose.

But for now I’ll just let her enjoy tasty snacks in her hideout.   

Eva Traits

Eva has developed some interesting habits and phrases lately. Someday I’m sure the annoying things will be funny so I want to make sure I write them down.  (Right now they aren’t funny.  Just annoying.)  Here’s a quick rundown of our Eva:

• She says, “I hold you?” when she wants to be picked up.
• She calls forks “dingle-hoppers.”  If I correct her and say it’s a fork, she gets upset.
• She brings me a spoon and the jar of peanut butter every morning and asks, “Some pea-kit butter?”  When I hand her the spoonful of pea-kit butter, she says, “Don’t go carpet,” and wanders right up to the edge of the carpet to enjoy her food.  Lately she thinks taking it onto the stairs is acceptable even though they are carpeted.  I’m working on that one.
• She sticks her hands into her poopy diaper and then shows me the soiled hands, informing me that she has done her business.  When I tell her it’s disgusting, she says, “Go poop potty.”  I say, “Yes!  I would love it!” To which she responds, “And get canny.”  Yet she refuses to have anything to do with the potty.
• She lays her head against me or Myke and exclaims, “Big hug!”  I love this one.
• When she sees our dog in the morning she says, “It’s Aika.  He’s a good boy.”  She also says the same thing about teddy bears, the bird sculpture at the library, and every other animal we see. 
• She loves Pandora.  I set it on a Disney station and she will sit in front of the computer for hours listening.  She’ll say, “Maybe Rapunzel next.  Maybe Ariel.”  Then she waits patiently for whatever is next.  She eats breakfast to Pandora and I do my chores while she’s occupied. 
• She refuses to wear shoes or socks or pants.  I have to pin her to get her pants on.  If we’re not going anywhere, I just let her run around in her diaper.  She doesn't even care that it’s winter.  She doesn’t even care that it bothers me.
• When she gets up from her nap she asks, “Watch Pickers?”  She’s referring to the show American Pickers. Sometimes I actually let her just because I think it’s hilarious that she likes it.     
• When she accomplishes something she’ll say, “Good job, baby! or Good job, honey!”  She also says a lot of things are cool.  “It’s cool, baby! or Cool, honey!”  It’s a good thing that I don’t swear very often since she’s obviously parroting what I say. 
• Her description for everything is either “so tall” or “it’s a big one.”  When she belches she’ll say, “Wow.  It’s a big one.  Excuse me!” 

 

Being a parent continues to be an unpredictable but awesome ride.  (Except for the poopy diaper and hands part…not awesome.)

Neat Freak

I give up.

Weeeeee!

Who loves to play on the swings more than Eva? 

I’ll tell you who.

No one.