Diseased

Poor Kitty is sick.  I mean, SICK.  She hasn’t been to school in 3 days.  I haven’t left the house in 3 days.  I mean, HAVEN’T LEFT THE HOUSE.  I long for the outside world, to touch the trees and hear the birds and visit Target.

This must be what prison is like.

The upside is that I haven’t exercised and I have been eating like I’ve been trapped in the house all week so I feel especially flabby.  That’s good on the self-esteem.

But enough about me, my poor Kitty is sick.  She has had a fever for 3 days, ranging between 100 and 103.  She has been coughing and miserable.  Copious amounts of green phlegm have taken up residence in her sinuses.  Poor, poor kitty.

But, there have been a few upsides.  Kitty’s Primary teacher brought her a bag of “Get-well soon” items, including a purse, stickers, yogurt, crackers, and a stuffed froggy.  That was a glimmer of light for Kitty.  And she’s been watching TV nearly nonstop.  That’s definitely a glimmer of light for Kitty.

Our friend came over last night to help Myke give Kitty a blessing.  I am grateful for good friends who will rush to our aid when we are so far away from family.  And I’m certainly grateful for the Priesthood. 

Kitty was feeling better this morning.  Fever gone, cough under control, but a new symptom creeped up beginning at about midnight.

Pooping.  Lots and lots of pooping.

I’m laundering 5 pairs of pajama pants as we speak and encouraging Kitty to eat something.  So far it’s been chocolate milk and goldfish.  Hey, whatever she’ll eat is fine by me.

Poor, poor Kitty. She’s never been sick this long in all her 6 years of living.  I’ve never been stuck at home this long in all my 39 years of living.

We’re both hoping for a full recovery soon!

Riddle

I know what a necktie on the doorknob means.  But…

What does a necktie on the dog mean?

Snow Day!

To indulge Eva’s greatest wish, Mother Nature blessed us with snow this week.  It was just over an inch and the whole city shut down.  I still laugh about the mayhem that accompanies snow around here.  But the good part for me and Eva was…no school!

However, the mere fact that we could have slept in, prompted Eva to get up before her alarm.  Seems fair.  The first thing Eva wanted to do when she saw the snow was text Grandpa to tell him.  She was so excited!

And even though we woke up early - and I hate waking up early - we had a fantastic day off!  We did lots of snow-day kinds of things.  Like:

Playing in the snow…

Building a snowman named Snowy…

Having a snowball fight…

Climbing a tree, even though it was slippery…

And having marshmallows with a little hot chocolate.

Aika ran around and frolicked like he was a puppy again.

We also watched movies for the entire afternoon before Eva scurried off to her friend's birthday party while Mykey and I went out to dinner.

My, what a good day!  I wish every day was a snow day.

But not really – I kinda hate snow.

Comic Queen

My dad gave Eva a Calvin and Hobbes book that has been lying around his office for years.  She loves it.  I mean, reads-it-every-day-loves it.  And she completely disregards my nagging while she’s reading.  Preposterous!

Like most insatiable readers, Eva finds every opportunity she can to devour the book.  She’s even marked her favorite pages to save time.

She reads it at bedtime when I’m nagging her to brush her teeth. 

She reads it during breakfast when I’m nagging her to eat.

She reads it in the car on the way to school when I’m nagging her to tell me she loves me.

She even reads it on the toilet when I’m nagging her to hurry up.

It’s like she reads just to tune me out or something.

I don't get it.

Metaphor for Life

I’ve been feeling a bit glum this week…just one of those times when life seems unfair and unfun.

I was driving to my weight-lifting class at the YMCA – yes, I lift weights; no, you can’t tell because my muscles are safely hidden beneath my chub – and as I was approaching a stop light, a giant flock of birds was above me in the sky, just ahead of my view.  They were soaring and diving, circling around and diving some more.  It looked as though they were chasing each other in a fun bird-soaring game.

My radio was on and the birds seemed to be flying and diving in rhythm with my music.  Their feathers were a beautiful palette of blue, gray, and white, and as I sat there watching the majestic show, I began to feel better.  Sure, life is challenging and tiresome at times, but it’s not all bad.  Look at these lovely, graceful birds relishing their gift of flight.

Just as I was about to completely switch my attitude from dull to delightful, I gazed up in awe one final time at the birds and…

SPLAT!

Sliding down my windshield, directly in front of my face, was an oozing reminder that life is simultaneously beautiful and full of crap. 

So there it is, my new life motto.

With the birds come the turds.

Happy New Year

What did you do to celebrate the arrival of January?

We went to the zoo.  They have lights and animals around the holidays.  It’s very exciting.

We bundled up and hit zoo town.  Eva brought along her kitty Alassia to join in the fun.

We saw the lights…

We soared like condors…

And we roared like lions.  Some of us very frighteningly. 

We were tired and freezing after wandering through the zoo for a few hours, but it sure was fun.  And we timed it so we were making our exit right as the big crowds started filing in.  This lioness knows what she’s doing.

Here’s to a happy 2019!

Lackadaisical Approach

My laziness as a parent is steadily climbing to its pinnacle.  Being childless for so many years, I had gobs of time to think about all the faults of other parents, and how I was not going to be like those lazy weasels.

Now I have a kid and I’m like those lazy weasels. And I only have 1 kid – can you imagine the depths of my lazy weasely-ness if I had multiple children?  I shudder.

When Eva first started Kindergarten, I was fervent about getting out the door on time.  School starts at 9:15, we were in the car at 9:00. Sometimes 8:59.  Those were especially good days when I was running the morning like a four-star general. 

Now it’s January.  Can you see the weasel fur growing along my spine?  It’s there and it’s coming in thick.

School still starts at 9:15 but now we’re shuffling to the car around 9:08, sometimes 9:10 if I’ve spent too much time putting mustache wax on my weasel whiskers.  I’m basically driving Eva up to the school, slowing the car down to a crawl, and shoving her out the door while shouting, “Tuck and roll, baby!  Tuck and roll!” 

I partly dawdle getting Eva to school because I hate having her leave me every morning.  All of these months later and my heart still aches when I watch her walk through the front doors of the school.  It’s sad driving back to my empty burrow with only a geriatric dog for company.  I mean, I love the old canine but he pees on the floor and doesn't respond when I ask for his opinion on the way I’ve coifed my fur.   

Getting to school is not my only struggle.  Sometime during the week, my eyes will widen and I’ll think, “Hmmm…when’s the last time Eva had a bath?”  I usually can't precisely pinpoint the day.  Eva never volunteers to bathe herself and she never knows the last time she was washed either – a right weasel-in-training.  I’ve now had to write on her calendar the days she needs to bathe.  But even then I don’t always follow through – it’s hard to wash her hair with my tiny weasel arms. 

You’d think I’d be more together since I only have 1 child and no job. 

You’d think that, but you’d be wrong.

That’s a lazy weasel for you.