Pregnancy News

My regular OB sent me to see a high risk OB for an anatomy scan ultrasound.  I was excited for this ultrasound but also terrified that they would accidentally reveal the gender of our baby.  Thankfully, the tech was incredibly conscientious when we told her we didn't want to know the sex.  She would warn us to look away from the screen when the entire body was in view, and she called it 'baby' instead of using he or she.  I was relieved.

The ultrasound revealed a healthy baby and a slightly abnormal placenta - that's just one on a list of many abnormal things about me. The Dr. suspects a condition called circumvallate placenta. It means that the membranes of the placenta fold back around its edges and it isn't attached perfectly.  It can increase the chance of preterm delivery and placental abruption.  It also causes concern that the baby won't get enough nutrients because the portion of placenta on the baby's side is too small.  I was quite concerned when we left the appointment but then called my medically-trained sissy and she reassured me that it would fine.  

Thank goodness for medically-trained feminist hippies.  I intend to seek her opinion every time my Dr. gives me counsel. Nothin' like free medical advice.

So now I will have an ultrasound every month to monitor the baby's progress, and then more often the closer we get to term.  I'm excited to get to see the baby regularly.

I mean...come on...look at that beautiful baby with the beautifully-shaped head. Even with my abnormalities I've clearly grown a normal baby so far.    

So there.  

Lovely Saturday

I know that you know the location of our most recent Saturday excursion.  If you don't know that I'm going to say that we went to Pigeon Forge, you haven't been paying attention. 

Our plan was to hit up a place called Anakeesta in Gatlinburg.  That was our plan but that was not what happened.  First of all, it was arctic weather outside and I awoke feeling cruddy.  I would've rescheduled the trip but we had a non-refundable hotel reservation. Secondly, when we planned this excursion, I didn't realize that it was a long weekend because of MLK day.  Michael didn't have that day off so I was only looking at the dates for Saturday, not realizing that the rest of the world would be there for the long weekend.  We sat in horrific traffic trying to get to Gatlinburg, couldn't find parking once we arrived, sat in traffic again, Michael started to lose his mind, and I tried desperately to distract him with Star Wars trivia.  Which, by the way, Kitty knew nearly all of the answers to the questions.  After a few maddening hours, we pivoted and found other things to do.  

Like indoor snow tubing

And a jaunt to a place called The Island. Kitty did a ropes course, we rode a Ferris Wheel, and Michael and Kitty went on a SkyFly adventure. Don't be fooled by my radiant beauty on the Ferris Wheel.  I was freezing cold and not feeling well at all. While Kitty and Michael explored, I huddled inside the arcade trying not to vomit or poop my pants.  Some other kid wasn't so lucky and barfed all over the arcade floor.  It nearly sent me over the edge.

But, despite the setbacks, we still managed to have a great weekend together.

Next time I'll read the ding-dang calendar more carefully.  

Kitty in a Nutshell

My kid is quirky and obscure in the most wonderful way.  She has a brilliant mind and a sharp wit.  (Remind you of anyone?  Hmmmm?  Maybe her mother?  Don't say you don't see it, ya jerk.)

The other night I asked Kitty to brush her teeth.  She sauntered into my bedroom with her toothbrush whirring.  Upon closer inspection, I realized she was wearing and brushing her Halloween Dracula teeth.

I'm still giggling over that image.

Here are some other ways in which my Kitty is unique:

Hanger as a bookmark

Nighttime cup hoarding

Sweet notes left on my pillow

Fantastical addendum to my grocery list

Hoverboard book perusal

Considerate gestures for a coughing father

Star Wars obsession

Yeah...I'll keep her.

Pregnancy News

I'm now 16-ish weeks pregnant. Nothing exciting has been happening at my OB check-ups.  My blood work is normal, I'm feeling good, and we will have an ultrasound in a few weeks with the high risk OB to make sure everything is on track.  

My only complaint besides that my ankles are swelling ALREADY is that I have a canker sore on the inside of my bottom lip that is the size of the iceberg that sunk the Titanic.  My lips are also swollen and incredibly chapped.  I look like I've had lip injections from an incompetent plastic surgeon.  It's disturbing.

But not as disturbing as my urine test.  Since I'm a senior citizen and pregnant via IVF, my risk of preeclampsia is increased.  My Dr. asked me if I wanted to do a 24 hour urine test to monitor for the condition.  In my mind, a 24 hour urine test meant that I would give a sample now, and then return in 24 hours to give another.  "Sure," I said, "that sounds like something I'd like to monitor."

She sent me down the hall to the lab, where the woman handed me a plastic jug that resembled a gas can.  I looked it over in confusion.  She then instructed me to collect my urine in the jug for the next 24 hours.  Wait.  What?  You want me to pee into this Tide laundry soap jug?  Does she not understand how often I have to use the bathroom these days?  And does she not understand that civilized people don't pee into plastic jugs?

Nope. She does not understand.

"Oh, and keep it in the refrigerator," she called out to me as I exited.

Have you ever stored a jug of urine in the fridge?  It feels wrong and dirty, like all of the food is instantly contaminated by pee fumes.  I kept the jug in a plastic grocery bag to help me feel less creepy.  It only slightly helped.  I also found myself worried about the expectations for quantity.  What if my jug was underfilled?  What if it was overfilled?  What if my jug was incredibly odiferous when the lab tech opened it?

It was anxiety-inducing.

24 hours later, with my jug-o-pee sloshing next to me on the front seat of my car, I returned my specimen to the lab.  There I was, an old pregnant woman with cankles and duck lips schlepping a jug of urine through the parking lot.

I'm officially demoralized.     

Welcome to elderly pregnancy.       

Bye Bye 2022!

Our New Year's Eve was mild and low-key - just how I like it.  

Earlier in the day we went to the movies.  Michael saw Avatar and Kitty and I opted for Puss in Boots in 3D.  I bought popcorn because that is what Michael has trained me to do.  Kitty and I barely ate it.  I'm realizing now that Michael is the one who eats the popcorn at the movies. I guzzle the soda.  This is why we work together.  Going to separate movies threw off our balance.  But Kitty and I enjoyed ourselves and then killed time at the unique candy store in the mall while we waited for Michael's 17 hour movie to finish.  She was especially intrigued by the crickets.  I shiver at the idea.

Then the evening found us noshing on homemade tortillas and sweet pork tacos.  We watched the festivities in Times Square and agreed we wouldn't want to be there. On the couch in our basement was the perfect place to celebrate.

When midnight arrived, Kitty did her special dance where she imitates her dad, and we all squawked our squawkers.

And then we went to bed.

Oh, 2022, you've been an exciting year for our family.  We moved across the country, Kitty started at a different school and triumphed over the difficulties of being the new kid, I'm pregnant with a miracle, and we've met wonderful people and began a relationship with my cousin.

It's been fulfilling and I look forward to our next adventures.

Happy New Year!

The Day After Christmas

Kitty's Christmas money from my parents was burning through her little hands and she wanted to spend the dough immediately.  So on the day after Christmas, we ventured to Asheville to loot the Lego store.

But first I made Michael a Waffle House breakfast complete with a Mandalorian waffle.  He was happy.

And then we went to spend Kitty's money.  The drive to Asheville was nice.  We had a delicious sandwich for lunch.  We walked around downtown in the freezing cold to get ice cream.  I chose eggnog and Aztec chocolate.  It was divine.  Michael chose bear tracks and was disappointed.  Rookie.  

We made it to the Lego store where Kitty carefully selected what she should spend her money on.  It was a difficult decision and we made multiple laps around the store while she contemplated her options.  I was appalled at some of the prices.  Nerds are frivolous with their money.  

And then she found it: Fantastic Beasts.  It was perfect.

I have a feeling Kitty's money will never earn interest.

Yup.  Nerds are frivolous.

Christmas!

Kitty asked me what time she could wake us up on Christmas morning to open presents.  Since I'm naturally lazy, I told her 7 am.  And not one minute before!  She declared that she would be waiting outside our bedroom door at 6:59 and would burst in at EXACTLY 7:00.

I awoke at 7:30 on Christmas morning and Kitty was nowhere to be found.  I was surprised that there had been no bursting through my bedroom door.  I got up to find that Kitty was snoozing away in her bed as if it was just another day.

I had to wake her up.  On Christmas morning!     

Once Kitty realized the time, she was eager to begin tearing into her presents.  And rightly so...she had a haul waiting for her.

We all enjoyed a myriad of presents.  Michael and I typically do not buy presents for each other.  We usually donate the money we would have spent to charity.  However, given that this was our first Christmas in TN, we wanted to make it feel special. So we exchanged gifts.  But don't worry, we still donated to charity also.  I'm not THAT insensitive.  It was a nice change to have presents to open and our Christmas morning was a success.  

Kitty received all sorts of treasures: books, games, art supplies, a new 3D pen, a Keeper of the Lost Cities shirt, and the gift her heart desired most of all, a hoverboard!  It took her a bit to get her balance right, and we ended up having to return the hoverboard for a different one since it would randomly buck her off, but now she's a hoverboard pro.

Mykey scored a neck massager, a Mandalorian waffle maker from Kitty, and a new wedding band because...well...his doesn't fit his finger anymore.  

I was lucky enough to receive a new hairbrush - I've been wanting a nice one - bath scrub, and a box of Tony Chocolonely candy bars.  Just what my burgeoning backside needs.  My favorite gift came from Kitty.  She put together a picture board with photos of us on it.  I hung the treasure up in my bedroom and I adore it.

After presents we dug in to the baked caramel French toast casserole that I've been making on Christmas morning for the past few years.  Michael ate his portion and then admitted that he doesn't really like it.  Kitty seconded his declaration.  Well, there goes that tradition.  Now I'm on the hunt for a new Christmas morning breakfast that my family will enjoy.  I'm thinking Cheerios.

We spent the day playing our new games and relaxing in the bliss of Christmas.  Kitty sat by the fire to enjoy the FoxTrot and Pearls before Swine comic books that Uncle Joe gave her.  What a wonderful day.

Merry Christmas!