My week is not complete until I have successfully purchased something from Amazon. It can be a movie rental, an episode of my favorite TV show, skin oil for my dog, a sack of rocks, it really doesn’t matter. Every month when I reconcile my credit card the statement reads, “Amazon, Phillips 66, Costco, Amazon, Target, Amazon, Phillips 66, Costco, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon, Dollar Tree, Amazon, Goodwill.” I’m totally kidding, of course.
I never shop at Goodwill.
Today I bought my requisite happiness then moved on to reading my sister’s blog. As I was giggling about her adventures with garishly colored lipstick, an email confirmation from Amazon popped up on my screen. I read the subject line and was puzzled at what Amazon was claiming I had purchased. Here’s how the subject line of the email read, “Your Amazon.com order of Learning Resources...and 1 moreitem.”
I said to myself, “Moreitem? What’s a moreitem? I didn’t buy anything called moreitem.” Then I did what every intelligent person does and I tried sounding out the word.
Mor-e-it-em?
Mo-reit-em?
Mo-reitem?
Haberdasher?
I was stumped! What in the world are they trying to say? Have I been transported to a country that doesn’t employ English as an official language? Why is Amazon being idiotic?
Just when I was about to swear off buying any more useless junk from a foreign retailer, my brain re-solidified and I could suddenly read again.
More item. 1 more item. As in, you purchased 2 separate items from Amazon just moments ago.
It’s 2 words. (You moron.)
So I’m an ignoramus.
Getoverit.
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