Moonbeam

I went running in the pouring rain this morning.  Usually I would see that it was raining and mumble something like, “Oh, heck no!” and put my lazy butt back to bed.  However, I was meeting Janna this morning and she runs without exception.  In fact, she puked last week and then ran 5 miles.  I puke once and stay in bed for twelve days yelling at Michael to bring more soup.

But I digress.  It was raining.  I knew I would have to still go out in it so I got up and started getting dressed.  The pants I wanted to wear were in my suitcase, (no, I haven’t unpacked yet.  What’s it to you?) and I didn’t want to wake Michael rummaging around for them.  I had to put on what I could find without making any noise.  My only option was the pants I hate the most.  They don’t fit right and are quite uncomfortable.  I don’t know why I haven’t cast them out of my wardrobe yet.  Probably because I’m lazy.  (Refer to my suitcase still being packed after being home for 5 days.)

Halfway through our run, my pants started to fall down.  They were soaked by this point and were feeling really heavy, like my legs were wrapped in ill-fitting wet towels.  I had my dog’s leash around my waist, rain pelting me in the face so fiercely I felt like the drops were sapping my eyesight, my shoes were making a squishing noise, and my pants wouldn’t stay on my waist.  I would pull them up but because they were rain-soaked, the fabric just stretched like a rubber band up to my waist without budging from my legs.  They were suctioned onto my skin.  After fighting with them for half a mile, I gave up.  I just let the waistband fall to it’s preferred resting place and let the quarter-moon shine.  Having rain dribble into your crack is not as refreshing as you might think.

A few lessons can be learned from this:

1. Don’t be running buddies with a die-hard.

2. Unpack your stupid suitcase in a timely manner.

3. Get rid of those darn pants.

I apologize to the drivers whose headlights illuminated my rear.  At least you have a story to tell your coworkers today.