I Pity the Fool

Weeks before the dawn of April Fool's Day, Sissy started trash talking about how she was going to get me this year. In any other circumstance, I wouldn't be bothered by the tauntings of a 12-year-old. However, I do get a gentle roll inside my tummy when the calendar indicates it is time for Sissy to begin her goading. That girl is an experienced prankster.

Perhaps my biggest worry is keeping up with the mischief. It's hard to out-prank her. But I do love the sparring. As she continues to grow up and distance herself from me more, I cherish the times when we connect. April Fool's Day is one of those times.

So what happened this year? Let's start with Sissy's pranks:

Our milk went bad.

There was a powdered sugar trap on the trash can so it spilled out when you opened the top.

I found a most disgusting creature guarding my soda can.

The light covers were replaced with monstrosities that made me itchy.

There was an enormous spider waiting for me when I opened her lunch box.

She also put plastic wrap across the doorway and on the toilet, and put tape over the sensor on my computer mouse so it wouldn't work. 

But the biggest jump-scare was the shrunken head that came barreling towards my face when I opened the medicine cabinet. She got me good with that one.

I retaliated by adding annoying sounds to the end of her morning Alexa alarm. She started the day with my tautings about April Fool's Day, and then random car horns and fart sounds. I giggled as I was setting it up because I'm immature.

I put fingers in her potato chips and cut her sandwich into random and weird shapes..

I colored her toilet water, put pasta under the toilet seat so it would snap when she sat down, and left a portrait of Gollum for her to enjoy.

But my most elegant prank was a creepy blow-up doll. The day before April Fool's Day, I gave myself a headache blowing it up and then carefully chose out the perfect outfit for him. I sent a photo to Mykey and was thrilled with my work.

He was weird in all the right ways and I was incredibly excited to frighten the pee-pee out of my daughter. 

And then she borrowed my phone and found the picture. I was devastated that my surprise was ruined! I told her that I wasn't going to do anything with him since she knew it was coming. I stripped him naked and put him in the closet. But then, right before bedtime, I snuck the naked creeper into her bed. 

Success!

I also put him in the shower the next morning which really scared Sissy.

Sissy put shorts on him and left him in Baby's highchair.

We had a fun few days with that creep.

We closed out our day of pranks with a gentle walk to see the bluebells at the park.

And Mykey presented Eva with a new Nintendo Switch.

What a good day. Happy April Fool's!

Leprechauns

 Remember that one time that I didn't realize it was Spring Break?

Well, add St. Patrick's Day to that list.

This brain of mine no worky.

Once it clicked in my head that March 17th is Leprechaun day, Sissy and I rushed ourselves to the Hobby Lobby to hunt for green accessories so we wouldn't get pinched. Then we went to the Sam's Club to buy green things for dinner. We chose steak. That counts.

We ate our green food and wore our green trinkets and enjoyed our time pondering Leprechauns and all that they do for us.

Happy St. Patty's!

Whoopsie

The only thoughts swirling around in our thinking caps right now are house, house, house. Michael is there every night working on making it cozy for us. I'm at the condo every night being a single parent and shuttling Sissy to all her extras.

It's kinda lame and exhausting.

Which brings me to my whoopsie.

Spring Break. Ever heard of it? Me either.

The week before Sissy's Spring Break, I glanced at the calendar and said, "Doi-yoi-yoi! It's Spring Break next week! Dagnabit!" 

And that's how we ended up with zero plans.

At first I felt bad. How does a person overlook Spring Break? But then I realized that we actually couldn't have gone anywhere anyway due to the house and all of its nonsense. Michael had already taken a week off of work to be at the house. I had already taken all of our money and spent it on the house and its nonsense. (Did I mention we still don't live at this house?) That's a rant for another day.

ANYWAY, despite my bungle, I still managed to cobble together a good time. Let's be honest - Sissy is 12 and would rather just play Nintendo all day anyway. That's a cheap and easy Spring Break. 

But we only played Nintendo for some of the time. The other days were spent doing fun things like:

Going for a walk. Sissy practiced parkour and Baby gathered sticks.

Making honeycomb candy - Myke and Sissy are ga-ga for it. Booney? No, thank you.

Making homemade Pop Rocks. Didn't work. Tasted like poison. We made poison candy.

Getting donuts and pretzels. Naturally.

And going to the zoo. We saw a spotless giraffe. It's the only known spotless giraffe in the world. Because giraffes are my favorite animal, I feel justified in saying that I didn't care for the plain brown giraffe. I'm sorry, I know being spottless is rare and amazing, but you just look like a horse with a deformed neck. I came for the spots.

So I thought Baby would love the zoo. Turns out she just loves running around looking for sticks. She barely noticed there were animals. 

But we did get fresh cotton candy from a vending machine! It was the most exciting part of the day for Sissy.

And then, of course, there was the sleeping in and Nintendo time. It was a good week for all.

Happy Spring Break!

Hats, hats, hats. For career girls

Baby likes to accessorize. Her outfit just isn't complete until she's chosen the perfect hat. Here are some style tips from Baby.

Feeling clucky? Chicken hat all the way

Always protect a fresh hairdo from the shower spray

A clear-colored storage container goes with everything

And a colander provides nice airflow on a hot day

Play around with the geometric look of a funnel

Or go for something petite like a water bottle lid for demure days

And free up your arms by carrying your purse on your head

And the ultimate rain hat - a plastic bag.

Nothing says, "stylish" like the threat of suffocation.

Hide and Seek

Baby invented a new game. It's called, "What's Behind the Couch Pillows?" 

Why, it's a cup!

And a soda!

And shoes!

And colored pencils!

And the missing lid to Booney's Pam spray!

And for the bonus round, there's a bunny in the pantry.

It's never dull with this girl. I sure love her!

Sissy Solo

Sissy had the opportunity to participate in the East TN Solo and Ensemble Festival. For those of us who know nothing about the band world, this is an event where students assemble to perform a solo or in small ensembles for evaluation. It wasn't mandatory, but if you go and earn a medal, you can wear your medal at subsequent concerts and performances you're in. You know, you can brag about your achievements to the other nerds.

Sissy is our "try everything" girl, and immediately wanted to participate. We set out early one Saturday morning and drove for an hour to the event. Sissy was excited and nervous; Booney was hungry and tired. Nothing new there.

Sissy was going to play Serenade from "Don Giovanni" for her solo. As someone who knows nothing about the band world, this sheet music looked daunting to me. Sissy said it actually wasn't that bad and I was being dramatic. Nothing new there.

As we waited for Sissy's turn, she busily prepped her instrument while Baby played with a grungy hanger, and I imagined what I would eat for lunch.

At last Sissy's name was called and she walked into the room while the rest of us chumps stayed in the hallway. I couldn't even hear her playing! I had no idea what was happening or if it was going well. Talk about torture.

Well? How did Sissy do?

She did great! She scored the highest possible score and earned a medal! 

I was a proud mama.

We headed out on our long journey home and stopped for a snack at the gas station on the way. Cheddar and Sour Cream Ruffles and peach rings, please.

What a wonderful Saturday. Yea for Sissy!

Just Dance!

The Spring Dance rolled around and Sissy and her friends were making all sorts of plans to go to the big event - including plans to hold a wedding with a tiny bear. Sissy was incredibly excited about it and painstakingly made the bear a tuxedo for the big event.

Ahh, to be young and silly again. 

We made a trip to Kohl's so Sissy and her bestie could choose coordinating dresses for the dance. Have you ever taken a couple of 12-year-olds dress shopping? It was frenzied and wild. The pile of dresses in my arms for them to try on rapidly mounted, and soon they were so heavy, it would have sunk the Titanic. 

We had a marvelous time.

And so did the girls at the dance. Sissy made sure to have money to spend on soda and candy, and their wedding was a success. It was a fun evening for all.

A sleepover at her friend's house followed, where they stayed up all night and watched Wicked on repeat.

It was a great weekend to be a 6th grader!