Birthday Wishes

Happy Birthday to the best Dad I ever had!  I love you, Papa.  I hope you have a GREAT day!

You Can’t Deny Genetics

Camping out in the refrigerator?  She is absolutely my offspring.

She was heartbroken when I asked her to leave.

If it weren’t so cold, I would probably live in the refrigerator too.

Christmas

Our Christmas was pretty quiet.  Christmas Eve we went to dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant.  It was delicious and free thanks to a gift card from my papa.  We need to work on an actual plan for next year because it didn't really feel like Christmas.

On Christmas morning Eva had three presents to open which took about 10 minutes and that was that. 

She opened a Mr. Potato Head (my friend gave it to Eva for her birthday but I saved it for Christmas.  She had enough presents at her birthday.  I’m a tyrant like that.)

And a book and an outfit from Grandma Maas. 

We also put a new pair of shoes and some necklaces in her stocking.  She was thrilled with the necklaces and looked at the shoes in disgust. 

My parents bought her swimming lessons.  We begin those in January and I’m really excited about it.

We were having a few friends over for dinner so I spent the rest of the day stressing about the meal and yelling at Michael when things weren’t turning out correctly.  Next year I am not making a big meal.  Next year I hope to be with family building a puzzle and eating a  cheese ball instead.  Michael deserves something for putting up with my shenanigans all day so I’m making him a loaf of bread this morning as a peace offering.

As our gift to ourselves, we bought a box of chocolates and I ate nearly half of them in one sitting.  This morning Eva was enjoying her share.

She may look like her father, but she has the refined palate of her mother.

More Complaining

Two words: ear infection

Three words: I have one

AND?

Eva finished her antibiotics on Saturday and woke up with a runny nose and a cough on Sunday.  Today she is quite congested and I feel like I’m deaf in one ear. 

We’re living in a den of disease.

Habit Forming

Eva loves Diet Root Beer.

And Dr. Pepper 10.

And Diet Pepsi.

And Fresca.

I’m expecting the notification that I’ve won the “Parent of the Year” award any minute.

Sick and Tired of Justice

I’m really sorry I said anything about Michael not being sick.  REALLY SORRY.  He took the whole “what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours” thing literally.  Thanks.

I’ve come to realize that I would rather have my arm gnawed off by my dog then be nauseated.  (And he could do it, too.  He’s chewed clothes right off the back of my nephew, he’s gnawed drywall off of the garage wall, he’s chewed the head off of Eva’s doll, and most recently, he chewed the Santa hat off of my Grinch.  An arm would round out his resume.)

Thankfully Michael had deep sympathy for my plight since he had just experienced it.  He went to the store and bought me Tillamook strawberry ice cream and made his own dinner last night.

This morning I feel significantly better with just a hint of a sore stomach.  I’m glad it was a quick moving bug.

As of today, I have been sick for exactly one month.  Is there a consolation prize or something?  

An Apology

I’m sorry, Michael.  I said there was no justice in the world because you weren’t sick.  The world has responded with justice.

I’m sorry you have flu-like symptoms today and have been spending the majority of your morning in the bathroom.

I’m sorry I didn’t knock on wood after my complaint.  I’m sorry you have downed half a bottle of Pepto with no relief.  I’m sorry you are pale. 

And I’ll be really sorry if I catch it.

Sickos

We took a family trip to the doctor today.

Eva has an ear infection.

I have a sinus infection.

Michael is perfectly healthy.

There is no justice in the world. 

Worker Bee

Eva is such a good helper around the house. 

She helps with the dishes:

She alphabetizes the movies:

She organizes the kitchen drawers:

All without being asked.  And she doesn’t even demand an allowance. 

Sneaking a Snickers

Going to church with Eva has become increasingly difficult the older she gets.  It’s hard to keep her entertained and not screeching during the meetings; it’s the same struggle I have with Michael every week.  Eva has not slept in my arms since she was probably six months old.  She refuses to fall asleep if I am holding her.  However, on the trip to my grandpa’s funeral, I witnessed Eva sleeping in my sister’s arms TWICE! And I saw it again over Thanksgiving.  Turns out it IS possible.

Michael didn’t think that I could recreate this event.  He said that my sister is the Baby Whisperer and I don’t possess the same skills to make my baby sleep in my arms. As with all disagreements that I have with Michael, my end goal is to prove him wrong.  Today I did just that.

Eva was starting to fuss so I decided to take her into the Mother’s Lounge and become the Baby Whisperer.  The Mother’s Lounge is just a room in the bathroom with rocking chairs, a changing table, and the ever-present odor of dirty diapers.  The first time I ever went into the Mother’s Lounge, I made the mistake of flinging the door wide open and was met with a breastfeeding woman who wasn’t concerned with discreetness.  It was awkward.  I wasn’t interested in seeing that manatee again, so I gingerly opened the door this time, and thankfully the room was empty.   I settled into the chair and I rocked Eva and sang to her and refused to let her squirm off my lap.  Within minutes I had achieved this:

  

I was proud and starving.  Luckily my dear husband, who didn’t believe in me, left a Snickers in my bag.  So I ate it.

It was a deserved reward for a job well done.  It was delicious.

Best day at church ever.

Bamboozled

One of the selling points Myke pitched to me when he wanted to move to Oregon was that it never snows in Oregon.  “Maybe once every four years,” he said to me.  It snowed the year before we moved so clearly I wouldn’t have to deal with snow for a while. 

Well, it started snowing this morning and it keeps accumulating.

   

Lies.  All lies.

Some for Eva

I impulsively purchased a package of Red Vines licorice at the check stand yesterday.  I usually look at that crap in the check-out line and resist the urge to fall for the marketing ploy, but yesterday the licorice looked incredibly enticing.

I had a couple of pieces then set the package on the end table while Michael showed me a new game he downloaded onto his phone.  It was a stupid word game that immediately hooked me.  This is why I don’t install games on my phone.  Anyway, whilst I was absorbed in thinking of a 7 letter word for “to sell illegally,” Eva saw a weakness.

Seizing the opportunity:

Enjoying the spoils:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Returning for seconds:

Relishing the victory:

The cell phone is a terrible crutch to proper parenting.

(The 7 letter word?  Traffic.)

Complaint

I awoke with a sore throat on my birthday.  That was November 18th.  I still have a sore throat.  Today is December 4th.

Consider this my formal complaint.

Long Drive Home

We returned home from our Thanksgiving holiday last night.  It was a nice trip.  Some aspects didn’t turn out as I had planned; Michael worked a lot, Eva and I were sick, but it was still comforting to be with family.  When I’m with my family, there is no worry.  I don’t have to worry about if I’m going to say something stupid, if I look ugly, or if I’m contributing in a worthwhile way to the conversation.  I’m just at ease in a different way than I am with friends.  I miss that.  Oregon feels a million miles away the first few days back as I re-adjust to my quiet solitude again. 

Eva was a trooper and was mostly well-behaved in the car.  At one point I looked back at her and saw this:

Other times I looked back and saw screaming, but we won’t dwell on that.  She’s a good girl. 

The days went by quickly but I am grateful we were able to squeeze in a visit.  I will now anxiously await our next trip.