Secrets

Being a stay-at-home Mom has turned me into a lazy slob.  I have completely reinvented myself and sometimes I worry that my newfound habits are unacceptable and weird.  Let me list a few things for you that I only started doing since becoming a parent.

• I think showering is inconvenient.  If I haven’t exercised that day I will occasionally skip the shower all together.  Instead, I wash my face, put on a fresh smear of deodorant and call it good.  If I am going to shower, it may not happen until an hour before Myke is expected home from work.  On these days, I shower just so he doesn’t know I’ve been in pajamas all day. 
• I go into public looking like a homeless person.  I used to judge women who were at the store wearing workout clothes or velour pants.  Why couldn’t they spend a few minutes putting on actual clothes?  I don’t ask that question anymore.  And I don’t give a crap if the other shoppers think I’m gross.
• I look forward to Eva’s naptime like I’m waiting for my lottery winnings to arrive.  I love my daughter, but I love my alone time too.  A lot.  I use the time to do something really productive that I can’t do when she’s awake.  I drink a soda and watch TV.  Without exception.
• I mentally make a list of what I’ve accomplished during the day so I can rattle off to Michael how productive I was while he was at work.  That list usually includes showering as one of my accomplishments.
• I only blow dry and style my hair on Sunday.  Every other day it’s in a ponytail or a braid.  And not a cute ponytail or braid; it’s an I’m-too-lazy-to-comb-my-hair kind of look.  It goes perfectly with my pajama pants.
• I forget to eat breakfast.  By midmorning I’m usually starving but I don’t want to dirty any dishes.  This is when I eat things that don’t require a plate or a bowl: peanuts, string cheese, fruit, beef stew.
• I get distracted a lot.  If I’m doing housework I will start on the living room.  I’ll need to take some of Eva’s things to her bedroom but once I’m in her bedroom, I start to organize her clothes and books.  Then I find something that belongs in the bathroom, so I go into the bathroom and start cleaning up in there.  Then I go into the laundry room and forget why. 

It’s a strange alternate universe.  I’m worried that I will become downright atrocious if we have another child and my habits multiply to accommodate the extra load.  I may never shower again at that point.

(Hey, Mykey – I’m sure glad love is blind.)

A Dozen

Myke and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary on Saturday.  We had a really great day.  Myke bought me flowers and ice cream bars and wrote me a sweet note.  I’m very romantic and got him a card.  (The darn thing cost $3.59.  Since when are cards so expensive?)  I spent a lot of time reflecting over the past 12 years and by the end of the day I was more in love than ever.  We’ve experienced a lot of struggles together and a lot of joy.  I’m incredibly grateful to have Mykey.

We drove up to the Portland temple and walked around the grounds.  All the way there, Eva kept saying, “See temple.  See angel.  See Jesus.”  She was very excited.  We had gone to the temple when my parents were here visiting and Eva hasn’t stopped mentioning it since.

Eva buzzed around the grounds like a little bee and tried to play in the fountains.  She pointed out the angel Moroni and repeated over and over that we were at the temple.  There was a wedding party having pictures taken and Eva almost dashed into their photos a couple times.  I loved being there with my family.

 

After the temple we stopped for a sandwich at the same shop where we went when my parents were in town.  It’s just up the road from the temple and Myke hasn’t stopped talking about the chocolate malt he had there those many weeks ago.  He was pretty excited to have another chocolate malt. 

We took Eva to the carousel and then took her home to a babysitter.  Myke and I went to the spa for a couple’s massage and foot treatment.  It was AWESOME.  I could have used another four or five hours.  I love being beat up by a massage therapist.

We finished off the evening with cheeseburgers and fries.  It was very romantic.  (And delicious.)

Happy Anniversary, Michael!

Foul Weather

Eva is prepared for anything.

After all, riding a trike indoors can be unpredictable.

Most Original

Myke and I were invited to a Halloween party again this year.  Last year our costumes were abysmal and I began thinking about what we would dress up as soon as the party was over.  All of my pondering over the year paid off.

I dressed up as a chicken and Michael was an egg.  We each had a tag on our shirts claiming that we had come first.  I made my costume by gluing feather boas onto a sweatshirt and I was molting all night.  I had to apologize profusely to the hostess.  However, I figure all the food I contributed to the party made up for the few thousand feathers that were littered all over her house.  We won the prize for “Most Original.”  It was a giant Symphony candy bar which Michael and I consumed in approximately 30 seconds.

 

Now what should we be next year…

Halloween

We had a successful Halloween at our house.  Eva is a great age for trick-or-treating and it didn’t rain!  Myke kicked off the day by going to work dressed as Humpty Dumpty.  He looked so hilarious that I didn’t even mind that he woke me up at 6:30 to help him get the suspenders on and his stuffing adjusted.

Eva refused to nap and it showed when it came time to put her costume on.  I had to wrestle her like a crocodile.  She is not smiling in this picture; she is screaming.  It’s a good thing I’m so strong. 

By the time she was dressed I was sweating and exhausted.  Then we tried to take pictures.  She wouldn’t hold still and completely ignored my directions to look cute.  I finally bribed her with candy.  That’s what all perfectly-in-control parents do.

I scored this dog costume for 10 bucks at Costco.  It was perfect.  She loved the hat and kept saying, “woof.”

We dragged out the wagon thinking that Eva is too little to walk very far.  She rode in it up to the first house and then refused her carriage for the rest of the night.  She walked the entire time.  And I pulled an empty wagon.

 

 

Eva was very timid at the first couple of houses until she realized people were giving her candy.  Once she understood the awesomeness of Halloween, she didn’t want to stop.  As we would leave each door she would exclaim, “More candy!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I told Eva before we left our house that I was claiming any Milky Ways and Skittles.  One house was handing out full size candy bars and Eva chose a Milky Way.  That’s my girl!

Michael subscribed to the idea of letting her eat as much candy as she wanted and then not having any more.  She ate candy the whole time we were trick-or-treating and then came home and continued eating.  She started to look pretty sick by the end of the night.

I sifted out the good stuff for myself and also ate until I had a stomachache. 

It really is the best way to do Halloween.