Fa La La La Father

Listen, I gots a newborn.  Don't be expecting a fantastic Father's Day event where I planned in advance and made the day practically perfect in every way. Ain't gonna happen.

But you know what did happen?

Steak.  It happened big time. And that slab of meat was practically perfect in every way.  

Kitty was better at planning in advance and made her father a Superman-themed computer game. He had to dodge kryptonite to reveal a secret message.  The message was that he is the best dad ever.  Very accurate.

Since we're tired with a newborn it was a low-key event.  Michael decided he'd like an Indiana Jones marathon...except for Temple of Doom because that one scares Kitty. So that's exactly what we did. 

We had popcorn and enjoyed the day with our favorite Dad.  

Happy Father's Day to Michael!

The Aftermath

Here is everything you need to know about having a baby after 40

EXHAUSTED isn’t potent enough to describe how tired I feel

SPLITTING is too tame for the headache I awoke with one night

SWOLLEN is an understatement when referencing my edema

DELICIOUS doesn’t capture how the Cream of Wheat tasted that my mommy brought to me in bed

GRATEFUL isn’t adequate for my feelings when my parent’s plane was delayed a day

JOYFUL barely describes how my heart felt as I bonded with my baby

Let me share a few tidbits of postpartum advice: you prolly should read the hospital discharge papers – that’s where they tell you that a headache can be dangerous.  Have my mommy come take care of you.  Have her also call my sissy to tell you to stop messing around and go to the doctor. (I cleaned up her language a bit but she was convincing.) Then have my mommy monitor your elevated blood pressure and make you Cream of Wheat.  My dad can also make you a mean bagel and egg samwich.

Make sure you have a husband who will get up in the night with you and share all the baby duties equally.  Don’t feel bad if your baby has to drink formula.  Let’s just focus on keeping her alive. Take every opportunity to stare at your miracle and kiss her little head.  Offer a gob-ton of sincere and thankful prayers that you have a little baby head to kiss.  Hug and kiss your older daughter so she doesn’t feel replaced, but then be patient with her when she does. Don’t worry about how big your butt is now – you can work on that later. Shower occasionally.   

But most importantly of all, cherish the experience. 

It's a miraculous one.

The Birth

The following post is a bit of a tome.  Proceed at your own risk. 

The day finally arrived.  On June 7th I was going to be induced and get this baby out.  By the end of the day we were going to meet either Jonah Michael or Nora Jayne.  Kitty really wanted it to be Nora.  She desperately wanted a sister.  But even more than that, she hated the name Jonah.  She rallied all of her church friends to accost me every Sunday about choosing such a terrible name.  Pssh.  

The suspense of not knowing was too much for some people.  It was the perfect amount for me.

Kitty spent the night at my cousin's house so Mykey and I could be to the hospital at 6:30 in the morning. I didn't sleep much the night before as I worried about the reality of delivering this baby the next day.  That, and I was excited to finally meet our baby.

We arrived and got all checked in.  I was hooked up to a monitor and blood pressure machine.  Those ding dang wires gave me only about a 2 foot radius to move around in.  It was terrible.  I was only uncuffed to use the bathroom and for a little bit here and there to give me a reprieve.  Did I mention it was terrible?

My Dr. arrived around 8:45.  The plan was that I would be induced right away.  That was until a woman came in on an emergency.  My nurse was reassigned to her so my induction was postponed until that situation was resolved.  How long would that take, you ask?  

A long time.

Mykey and I went to the cafeteria and had a tuna sandwich and a soda.  Since I wouldn't be allowed to eat once the induction started, I seized the chance to nosh.  

And then we waited.  And waited.  And waited.  

After hours of sitting around, Mykey went out with my parents to get lunch at Bojangles.  My dad had been dying to go since his arrival.  That guy is a weirdo sometimes. Mykey was all excited about it and jumped at the opportunity to eat somewhere I refuse to go with him.  I had the pleasure of hearing all about how delicious his sandwich was upon his return. Bojangles? Pssh. 

The induction finally started around 1pm. I had to get IV antibiotics because I was positive for GBS.  I would receive a dose every 4 hours until the baby was born.  It BURNED my arm like nothing I've ever felt before.  I had the pleasure of enduring that pain over and over again. 

Once the Pitocin started I was incredibly excited that I would most likely have a baby by evening.  I was dilated to 4cm when they started the medicine drip.  Surely it would be a breeze to get to 10cm.

Surely.

I labored with moderately painful contractions all day until after midnight.  Every time I was checked, I was still only 4cm.  I was tired.  I was hungry.  I was disappointed.  I asked to have my water broken but the baby wasn't low enough yet.  I had my membranes stripped a couple of times but nothing progressed.  

At 1:00am my Dr. decided to stop the Pitocin to give my body a break for a couple of hours.  I was allowed to eat but the cafeteria was closed! I was starving and had the very unsatisfying snack of an apple and some nuts.  And Twizzlers.  Lots of Twizzlers.  Michael had purchased them as part of his snack bag.  I berated him for buying such a hobo treat.  And then I ate a lot of them.  He just knew I would need Twizzlers.

I couldn't sleep so I just laid in the hospital bed incredibly uncomfortable.  Mykey caught a few zz's but not nearly enough.

The Pitocin was restarted at 3:00am.  My night nurse was named Kimberly and she was amazing.  She was very attentive and encouraging.  We had easy conversations about dogs and kids.  At 5:00am she checked me again and...nothing.  4cm.  I was feeling more defeated with each passing hour.  Defeated, hungry, tired, in pain, uncomfortable, sore, every miserable adjective out there.  Michael asked Kimberly if I could have a Diet Pepsi for my troubles.  She told him to get the woman a soda! They didn't have Diet Pepsi at the nurses' station so he'd have to buy one from the vending machine down the hall. Off he went to find his damsel a drink.  He returned empty handed.

The vending machines were broken.

Are we having any fun here?

Kimberly saw him walk by without a soda.  A few minutes later, she showed up with an ice cold Diet Pepsi.  She had gone to another floor of the hospital to find me one.  I could have kissed that woman.

My Dr. arrived and I begged her to break my water.  She agreed.  My water was broken around 8:30. The contractions ramped up at rocket speed after that.  Around 9:15 I asked for a little pain medicine to take the edge off.  My Dr. checked and I was already at 7 cm.  She estimated it would be a couple more hours until the baby came so she would give me some Fentanyl.    

Somewhere around this time, my mommy showed up.  Michael had been telling her not to rush because I wasn't progressing very quickly.  My mommy came to the hospital anyway.  I'm incredibly grateful that she did.  Having her at the birth was very important to me and I would have been heartbroken if she missed it.

The nurse came back a few minutes later with the pain medicine.  Michael was finishing up a shower and I was in tremendous pain and feeling like I wasn't going to make it.  The drugs weren't helping at all and then suddenly the baby was crowning.

I screamed out in panic, "The baby's coming!"

My mom called the nurse and then chaos ensued.  I don't know everything that happened other than I called out again, "The baby's coming!  And I'm pooping!"  Pooping during labor was my worst fear and now it was happening.

The nurse assured me I wasn't pooping and not to push.  Yeah, like not pushing was an option.

The room flooded with people and my Dr. ran into the room.  I saw her frantically putting on her paper scrubs and encouraging me that I was doing great but not to push.  I don't think I obeyed.

The baby was out in 3 pushes.  The room was so chaotic that poor Mykey didn't see the baby being born.  At 9:53am on June 8th, the announcement came that it was a girl and she was laid on my chest.  Miss Nora Jayne had arrived.

And she wouldn't stop screaming!

I was overcome with emotion.  It's difficult to explain the joy and peace I felt.  In the moment that Nora was laid on my chest, all of the years of heartache were instantly healed.  She made me whole and complete.  I was grateful to God for answering my prayers, grateful to have Michael as my partner, grateful my mom was there, and grateful that my family is finally complete.

Nora weighed in at a healthy 7 lbs, 6 oz and measured 20.5 inches long.  She is perfect.

After all of my hard work, my daddy brought me Chick Fil A for lunch.  We sat in the hospital room visiting and admiring my miracle.

Kitty was at Dollywood with cousins so she didn't make it to the hospital until that evening.  She was excited when she walked through the door and gingerly held her baby sister.

I have waited for this moment for 7 years: Kitty holding her sibling. It was tender and special.  And it was worth the wait.

Nora's birth was completely opposite of the experience I had with Kitty.  Everything about getting Nora here was different.  But I'm grateful for all of it - all of the tears, heartache, expense, and worry gave us another baby girl.  I'd do it all again.

Can you believe we're a family of 4?!

Ma and Pa

My parents came to be with us for the arrival of our baby.  I always love it when my parents are around.  They are exquisite company, and my dad does things that make me shake my head and giggle.  

Like purchasing this enormous box of bacon.

There we were, eating lunch and donuts at our favorite Mennonite store.  And there it was, a pallet stacked tall with enormous boxes of bacon.  There was quite a hubbub around the pallet.  Naturally my pa had to see what all the action was about.  It was about bacon.  So he bought a box.

After we were home and had opened our gift of bacon, my pa realized what a score he had.  He called the store to see if they had anymore bacon left for us to purchase.  This is when we were informed that the hill 'o bacon had been pre-ordered by customers. Any that wasn't picked up would be a free-for-all in a couple of days.  

Oops.  We had inadvertently nicked a box.

Seems to me like the store should make sure that you've actually pre-ordered the bacon before they take your money. Which they didn't.  So really they only have themselves to blame.  That's how I'm living with the guilt.  But dang, the bacon was delicious.  

Besides becoming inadvertent bacon bandits, we also enjoyed a plethora of other fun activities. We held birds at Parrot Mountain.

We visited the Rocky Mount historical site and learned that back in the olden days, children were expected to start helping with chores at the age of 2.  Sorry new baby, I think I'll bring back the olden days. (Minus the 652 layers of clothing that the women had to wear.) Kitty purchased a plastic deer and posed it in the woods to look real.  Mykey was fascinated with the compressed block of tea leaves.  I was trying not to pass out from heat exhaustion in the old house.  Why didn't these olden day guys install A/C?!

We also went to dinner at my cousin's house and had the most exciting time watching his ginormous tree uproot in the wind.  Well, I didn't actually get to watch it...I was in the bathroom.  But everyone else was privy to the excitement.  The tree fell in the exact spot where we typically park our car.  We didn't park in our usual spot because I was wearing sandals and didn't want to traverse the bark chips.  My laziness saved Mykey's Prius from utter destruction.  You're welcome.

Of course, my ma went straight to work fixing my interior doors.  It's the way she earns her dinner.

We went on a barge ride and saw 10 million lily pads and a few beaver lodges.  It was a relaxing ride...perfect for a pregnant lady. 

The most bizarre event was when my pa was driving and a bank of mailboxes slammed themselves into the back of my new car.  The nerve of some mailboxes. 

It's been a very exciting stretch so far.  Our next adventure will be the baby arriving.

Holy crap!