Cows and Kitties

Remember when my husband thought that a mural of Jesus was a cow?  Eva has recently noticed this Jesus mural and points it out whenever we drive by.  I admire that she is very observant but I worry about her inability to process abstract things.  You see, Eva thinks the mural is a kitty.  She knows what Jesus looks like and frequently points him out in pictures, but like her father, Eva can’t make out his face in the mural.  When we pass by she calls out, “There’s the kitty!  Meow.  See it?”

Oh, I see it.  And that ain’t a kitty.

 

This is just another confirmation that Michael’s genes completely overpowered all of my exceptional genetic traits.  In fact, I’m beginning to wonder if I’m really the mother of this child…     

Eva’s Best Friend

Our dog went to the vet a few weeks ago to get his shots.  As it turned out, he also had infections in his ear and on his skin.  The vet also suspected he might have fleas.  I was instantly disgusted that this infected flea-bag was in my house.  I also felt guilty that I hadn’t noticed he wasn’t feeling well.  It’s obvious that I am not a multi-tasking nurturer.  (I wonder if Myke has some kind of ailment I haven’t noticed.)  

Anyway, 5 prescriptions later, he was healed.  I tell you this because the vet also pointed out that the dog is overweight.  Well, of course he is.  He’s a member of my family and we love food.  It’s what we do.  I instantly knew why our pooch is a fatty-fatty-two-by-four:  Eva.

She feeds him from the table and he lingers around her waiting for any scrap he can get.  It’s like he’s at Costco waiting in line for a sample.  However, they are just so cute together that I can’t bring myself to shoo him away from the table.     

I guess this means their bond is worth having a fatso dog.  

Purple Throne

Eva has been sitting in my colander lately.  Everyday, in fact.  I really don’t know what goes through her mind.

But at least she’s interested in reading about Noah’s ark.

I wish she’d be interested in wearing pants.

It’s the same wish I have for Michael.  He says pants suffocate his legs. 

Whatta couple of weirdos.

Sample Snitcher

I’ve become one of those people.  You know the ones…the annoying sample grabbers at Costco.  They congest the flow of traffic and clip other shopper’s baskets swooping in for a morsel of overcooked chicken or stinky fish sticks.  I hate those people and now I am one of them.  Thanks, Eva.

A while back we were at Costco and it was nearing lunchtime.  I felt my stomach start to mumble that it wanted food so I figured Eva was probably hungry too.  She was probably even hungrier than I was since she doesn't eat breakfast.  I’m sure she would eat if I gave her what she asks for in the morning but my conscience prohibits me from serving cookies and chocolate chips before 9 AM.  (Good thing Eva doesn't know that I’m willing to serve them anytime after 9:01.)  Anyway, we were at Costco and I was getting hungry and there was a sample of quesadillas.  Eva loves quesadillas so I thought I’d be the nice guy and kindly sneak her a sample.  Biggest mistake of my life, second only to wearing socks with fake Birkenstocks back in 7th grade.  (Hey, everyone was doing it.)

Eva is now aware of the sample racket and she wants to be right in the middle of it.  She wants every sample from every hair-netted old woman regardless of what it is.  I do my best to avoid the sample stations but it’s impossible unless you’re only at Costco to stroll down the automotive aisle.  At every glimpse of a hairnet, Eva shouts and points, “Quesadilla?” If I don’t stop and scoop up a sample cup for her, she freaks out.  Sometimes the offering is really nasty like shredded, canned chicken but she still insists I get it for her.  When it’s gross, she just makes a mess with it and I end up with the smell of canned chicken or olive loaf on my hands for the rest of the day. 

I’ve considered just being a jerk and not let her bully me into getting her the samples.  But it really is a harmless hobby so I hesitate to extinguish her joy.  Plus, one time the sample was a whole salted caramel.  It was delicious.  I made a second lap back to that sample station and I didn’t even feel guilty about it. 

I guess my point is that even though I am annoying and standing in line behind the retired guys for a snitch of something nasty, at least Eva is quiet while I’m shopping.

That’s worth being annoying. 

Hideout

Snacks always taste better in a fort.

Just ask Eva.

I couldn’t find her and when I called out she yelled back, “I’m hiding!”

I should probably tell her that calling out from your hiding spot defeats the purpose.

But for now I’ll just let her enjoy tasty snacks in her hideout.