Funny Eva

Just because she continues to make me laugh, here are some more recent conversations with Eva.

Driving in the car:

A cat ran across the street in front of us and he had a dead mouse in his mouth.

Me: Eva, look!  That cat caught a mouse.  Pretty cool, huh?

Eva: But how did he catch it?

Me: I don’t know.  He probably cornered it and pounced.  That’s what cats do.

Eva: But not all cats.  Tom never catches Jerry.  The truth is that Tom always chases Jerry but never catches him.

At the supermarket:

Eva: Can I have a treat?

Me: No, you don’t need a treat.

Eva: (pointing to herself) But Mom! This cat eats people food.

At home:

Eva: Can I play on your phone?

Me: No.  You’re in trouble for not obeying.

Eva: But Mom!  You guys wouldn’t stop bothering me.  That’s why I didn’t listen.

Getting in trouble:

Eva was upset about something and swatted at my leg.

Me: Eva, don’t hit.

Eva: I didn’t.

Me: Then what do you call that?

Eva: I call it my freaking out.

At Ace Hardware:

There was a bucket of rabbit’s feet on the counter and Eva and I were playing with them.

Me:  Ew, gross.  I think it’s a real rabbit’s foot.  It feels like a real foot.

Eva: Here, let me see.  Mama! It’s just wood with cotton on top.

Listening to music:

Eva: I like that song.

Me: You do?

Eva: Yeah, see my tear of joy?

In the car:

Myke has a retractable back scratcher in his car and Eva was using it.

Eva: Ahhhh.  That feels good.

Myke: Yeah, I like it too.

Eva: You know my favorite thing about the back scratcher?  It gets all my fleas.

And that’s exactly why her dad likes it too.

Snowshoeing

Have you met my kitty?

Well, she informed me tonight that she’s all ready to play in the snow.

I’m glad she’s prepared.  We certainly don’t want frostbite on those tender paws.

Summer Vacation

Eva is a lucky, lucky, lucky little girl and was able to spend 5 whole days at my sissy’s house all by herself.  I haven’t spent that much time away from my baby since she was born and I felt the anxiety of her departure pinning me down like there was a boulder on my chest. 

Eva had no such feelings.

Eva was so excited to go that I couldn’t get her suitcase packed fast enough.  With a cheery, “Bye-bye, Mama!” she was off.

The house was still and quiet and I felt out of place.  I thought about being productive with my new-found stillness and quietness but that was a fleeting moment.  Instead, I did something I never do, something I normally despise doing, something rather unthinkable on a mid-morning Wednesday – I took a nap.

It was odd.  It was refreshing.  It was just what my poor’ol bones needed.

I thought over the next 5 days that I would ache with emptiness.  I thought Eva would miss me terribly and cry herself to sleep at night.  There was no aching or crying-ourselves-to-sleep.  There was only happiness.

Turns out my sissy’s house is much more awesome than mine.

I don’t know what all the fuss is about.  It’s not like going to the lake everyday and having your sandwiches cut into shapes is that cool.  I mean, come on.  Getting to eat your aunt’s famously delicious cinnamon toast for breakfast, going to the car wash, watching movies, reading every book in the toy closet, and slicing bananas with your own mini-slicer is a bore.  Who really wants to drink out of a tiny A&W mug and use a tiny spoon that used to belong to a squirrel named Ralph?  And what fun is there in calling your uncle “Captain Graybeard” and he calling you “Sailor” all week?  Sounds kind of dull.

Yup.  I  don’t understand why she keeps talking about her trip to Idaho.  Some people must really like lame trips.

Impeccably dressed

I asked Dexter to hurry and put her dress on so we weren’t late for church. 

She quickly replied, “It’s not a dress, Mama.”

“Oh?” I said. “What is it then?”

“It’s my church fur.”

Well, of course it is.  How could I possibly expect my kitty to go to church in her mangy ‘ol everyday-fur?