Just PB

We returned home from having Eva photographed last night and she was hungry.  It had been a long day and I was feeling really tired. I wanted to feed her something I didn’t have to cook so I thought a PB&J sandwich was a good option. The only problem was that I felt too lazy to actually make Eva a sandwich.  It would require thawing some bread, getting out a knife, opening and closing jars, spreading the peanut butter and jelly, cutting the sandwich into manageable pieces, a significant time investment.

Instead, I chose a large tablespoon from the silverware drawer, plunged it into the peanut butter jar, and scooped out a silky mound of the smooth spread.  I fed it to her right from the spoon.  I put her on the kitchen counter, her little feet dangling over the edge and gave her nourishment.  I didn’t even bother to put a bib on her.  Too much work to velcro the tabs behind her neck.

I felt guilty about it for a moment.  I wondered if it teetered on the edge of parental misjudgment.  But Eva seemed to love it.  I’m sure she felt liberated from her high chair and the confines of the socially-acceptable way to consume peanut butter.  I’m sure of it.

Otherwise I’m just a terribly lazy person.

Horsey Ride

Michael is determined to make Eva like the carousel even though our first attempt a few months ago elicited fear and terror.  He’s so determined that instead of just purchasing a couple of ride tokens, we bought a punch card.  18 rides.  Better like it, kid.

Thankfully, the few months of aging has helped with the horror.  On the first ride she was very nervous but then settled right in and loved it by the second ride.  Michael gets so excited to take her and dotes over her while standing beside the horse.  One woman told me that he was more fun to watch than Eva.  He’s a good papa.  I tried taking her on one round and I nearly vomited at the end.  The spinning!  It will definitely be a daddy/daughter adventure from now on.  I will dutifully stand near the railing, wave as they whirl past, and try to snitch a taste of cotton candy from unsuspecting children as they walk by.

Look at the difference a few months made in my baby:   

Saturday, January 18, 2014. (Also my sister’s birthday.)

Saturday, August 10, 2013.  (Not my sister’s birthday.)

Going to the carousel is officially calendared for every Saturday from now until the punch card runs out. 

That’s a lot of cotton candy snitching for me. 

Instant Paralyzation

I found Eva touching the power button on Michael’s computer and asked her to leave the office.

She instantly lost her ability to walk, hear, and understand English.

Truly a medical mystery.

Spring Water

Why do I bother filling up her drinking cups with filtered water?

This is clearly her preferred water source.  She even continues drinking it after I turn off the faucet. 

There’s nothing gross about that at all.

Cow or Jesus?

Michael and I were sitting at a stoplight the other day on a road we travel quite often.  The building on the corner had a sign stuck in the lawn about Jesus.  He was surprised by this and the following conversation ensued.

He said, “Is that a church?” 

“Yes,” I replied. “Hence the mural of Jesus on the side of the building.”

“What mural?” he inquired.

“The one taking up the entire side of the building.  That big, black painting of Jesus.  How could you miss it?”

Long pause.  “That’s Jesus?”

“What do you mean, ‘that’s Jesus?’  Of course it’s Jesus.  Who did you think it was?”

Another pause, then, “Huh.  I thought it was cow spots or discoloration of the stucco due to weather.  I never saw Jesus in that.”

You tell me, dear friends.  Cow or Jesus?

On the Move

Did I mention Eva has started walking?  She took her first steps on December 22nd but I was not there to witness it.  We were at church and she was throwing a terribly embarrassing fit during the meeting.  Michael took her out into the foyer where she wiggled off his lap and began walking.  She was an old pro within a few days.  Another major milestone for my little baby.  Here she is in action:

You’ll notice that in addition to being adept at walking, she’s also very obedient when I speak to her.

Thank You, Grandpa

My Grandpa left each of his grandchildren a generous inheritance upon his death.  After much contemplation, we decided to use some of the money to purchase a new stove.  My old stove was a giant piece of crap.  I’ve never been so excited to see something leave my house.  We bought a stove just before Thanksgiving and it quit working a couple of weeks ago.  The touchpad to turn on the oven was defective.  I didn’t want to exchange for the same model for fear it would happen again.  Instead, I did what any rational person would do: I upgraded.

Our new stove is beautiful.  Almost too beautiful to use.  Unfortunately, it was a terrible ordeal getting it installed.  Michael began the installation around 5:00 and I was already hungry and anxious for dinner.  I told him he had 2 hours to finish.  I had book club at 7:30 and I wanted to eat before I went.  His 2 hours turned into 4 and the stove still wasn’t usable.  Have you ever been around me when I’m hungry?  Have you ever worked on a home-improvement project with me?  I don’t tolerate either very well.  In fact, it’s usually during these moments that Michael wonders why he married me.  I’m admittedly unbearable.  

First, the gas line had an elbow joint coming out of the floor and the new stove didn’t have clearance in the back to accommodate.  Michael had to remove the elbow and make it a straight pipe.  Of course, he couldn’t get the pipes loose with the tools he had.  That ended up costing us $20 for a couple of pipe wrenches.  Second, the hose kit to connect the range to the gas line didn’t have the correct size of adapter to attach it.  I spent 30 minutes at the hardware store trying to find the right part.  They didn’t have it because they recently had to destroy most of their plumbing inventory due to lead.   I was able to get something that would work after looking at every stinking item on the plumbing aisle.   (Later in the evening I found the correct part on the couch.  It had been sitting there all along.)  After about 3 hours, Michael finally had everything ready to go.  Bear in mind that it was now after 8, we hadn’t had dinner yet, and I was missing book club.  I was beginning to ramp up the grouchiness at a tremendous pace.  We went to slide the range into the opening and…it wouldn’t fit.  The dad gum range is supposed to be 30” but in actuality, it is 30 and 1/4”.  We tried desperately for over an hour to make it work but alas, the stove wouldn’t budge.  You can imagine my explosion.  We had Taco Bell for dinner at 10:00.

Michael ended up having to grind down the edges of the countertops to make the range fit.  This project covered the house in a layer of dust and required the purchase of more tools.  I was leery the whole time, but it worked.

 

You’d never guess by looking at him but Michael is quite the handyman.  I’ve been impressed numerous times at his skill and this time was no exception.  (I was impressed after I was done yelling at him for taking so long, of course.)  And here she is:

Isn’t she pretty?  I will obsessively keep her clean for approximately one hour.  Then I will be too tired to try any more.

We are also using some of the money to have cabinets installed in our dining room for extra storage.  The cabinet shop should be coming to take measurements next week.  I’m very excited about that.

Normally when someone gives me a gift, I like to send a thank-you card.  However, I can’t send a card to my grandpa anymore and I feel strange about it.  I can’t even call him up and tell him how much I appreciate his generosity and the wonderful things I was able to do with the money.  I wish I could send him a picture of my beautiful new stove or my cabinets once they are finished.  I hope he knows how grateful I am, not only for the money, but for the opportunity to love him. 

My dad and his brothers are cleaning out Grandpa’s house this week; sorting through his memories and distributing his belongings.  The finality of his life on earth makes me teary, but the knowledge that he lives on makes me smile.  What a meaningful life he had. 

Thank you, Grandpa.

Olympic Aspirations

Eva started swim lessons.  After one lesson, she can swim a mile.  She also knows the backstroke and the butterfly.  Ol’ Myron is an amazing teacher.

She certainly doesn't get her affinity for water and her natural talent from me.  I don’t know how to swim.  According to my brother-in-law, I swim like a horse.  I always considered my style in the dog-paddle category, but apparently that is inaccurate.  I’m in the Appaloosa category.  Anything to keep my head above water.

   

Eva loved it!  Someone has to be in the pool with her so Michael took her in.  They sang songs and practiced kicking and climbing in and out of the pool.  They submerged their heads and floated on their backs.  It was a fun time for everyone. 

 

Now if only she didn’t insist on drinking the water the entire time; people pee in those pools.  You know who you are.

Holiday Muffin Top

I worked up the courage to get on the scale this morning.  I successfully packed on ten pounds over the holidays.

Ten pounds.  That’s a 1 and a 0. 

I’m making myself feel better by pretending most of it is water and it will melt away in a few days now that I’m exercising again.

Please don’t point out that I’m lying to myself.  Please also don’t point out that pouring cups of sugar directly into my mouth like a waterfall was inappropriate behavior.  I know that now.

Remember Me?

I must apologize for my absence lately.  I have no excuses other than the days got away from me.  I didn’t realize it’s been so long since my last post.  My dear friend, AJ uses my blog as his afternoon entertainment.  Since I’ve been gone for so long, he has replaced me with Martha Stewart Living.  I’m worried he’ll never read my blog again since he is busy planning his Easter menu and table-scape, carefully coordinating the color scheme and handwriting place cards.  I do hope he will return to me.

Anyone care for a review?

I rang in the New Year in the bathroom!  It was an accident really.  We were invited over to a friend's house to play games and eat.  What happens when you get a group of people together who have young children and ask them to stay up until midnight?  They start checking watches at 10:30 to see how much longer until the party is over.  I knew it was getting close to midnight so I thought I would hurry and use the bathroom before the clock struck 12.  Unfortunately, I didn’t realize exactly how close it was to the turn of the New Year.  It was kind of embarrassing to hear everyone counting down from the bathroom.  Nothing like ringing in the New Year on the can.

I flew to Idaho a couple of days later because my brother was blessing his new baby girl.  It was a wonderful weekend and his baby is absolutely beautiful.  I was flying home on Sunday but my flight ended up being cancelled for a maintenance issue with the plane.  What happens when you sit in the airport for five hours with a  1 year old?  You nearly have a nervous breakdown and are rude to the customer service representative on the phone while trying to rebook a new flight.  (In my defense, she kind of deserved it.  She wasn’t helpful at all.)  I ended up having to stay an extra day and couldn’t fly home until Monday evening.  Thankfully my brother took us in and we had a nice time hanging out on Monday.  And I have a $100 coupon for my next flight. 

I am now home trying to get back in the groove and remember to stop eating like a cow because the holidays are over.  I went to a spinning class yesterday and nearly went into cardiac arrest.  This morning was my early morning weight lifting class and I was a complete weakling.  What happens when you take a break from working-out for 4 weeks?  Your workout clothes are a little tight in the rear-end and your whole body hurts the next day.  I registered for a 10k in March so I best be getting myself together.     

And that is the extent of my exciting life.  I resolve in this new year to be better at posting.  (But please don't hold your breath.)