Eva Traits

Eva has developed some interesting habits and phrases lately. Someday I’m sure the annoying things will be funny so I want to make sure I write them down.  (Right now they aren’t funny.  Just annoying.)  Here’s a quick rundown of our Eva:

• She says, “I hold you?” when she wants to be picked up.
• She calls forks “dingle-hoppers.”  If I correct her and say it’s a fork, she gets upset.
• She brings me a spoon and the jar of peanut butter every morning and asks, “Some pea-kit butter?”  When I hand her the spoonful of pea-kit butter, she says, “Don’t go carpet,” and wanders right up to the edge of the carpet to enjoy her food.  Lately she thinks taking it onto the stairs is acceptable even though they are carpeted.  I’m working on that one.
• She sticks her hands into her poopy diaper and then shows me the soiled hands, informing me that she has done her business.  When I tell her it’s disgusting, she says, “Go poop potty.”  I say, “Yes!  I would love it!” To which she responds, “And get canny.”  Yet she refuses to have anything to do with the potty.
• She lays her head against me or Myke and exclaims, “Big hug!”  I love this one.
• When she sees our dog in the morning she says, “It’s Aika.  He’s a good boy.”  She also says the same thing about teddy bears, the bird sculpture at the library, and every other animal we see. 
• She loves Pandora.  I set it on a Disney station and she will sit in front of the computer for hours listening.  She’ll say, “Maybe Rapunzel next.  Maybe Ariel.”  Then she waits patiently for whatever is next.  She eats breakfast to Pandora and I do my chores while she’s occupied. 
• She refuses to wear shoes or socks or pants.  I have to pin her to get her pants on.  If we’re not going anywhere, I just let her run around in her diaper.  She doesn't even care that it’s winter.  She doesn’t even care that it bothers me.
• When she gets up from her nap she asks, “Watch Pickers?”  She’s referring to the show American Pickers. Sometimes I actually let her just because I think it’s hilarious that she likes it.     
• When she accomplishes something she’ll say, “Good job, baby! or Good job, honey!”  She also says a lot of things are cool.  “It’s cool, baby! or Cool, honey!”  It’s a good thing that I don’t swear very often since she’s obviously parroting what I say. 
• Her description for everything is either “so tall” or “it’s a big one.”  When she belches she’ll say, “Wow.  It’s a big one.  Excuse me!” 

 

Being a parent continues to be an unpredictable but awesome ride.  (Except for the poopy diaper and hands part…not awesome.)

Neat Freak

I give up.

Weeeeee!

Who loves to play on the swings more than Eva? 

I’ll tell you who.

No one.

Oil Slick

Eva has decided lately that naptime isn’t for napping.  Instead, she empties all of the clothes out of her dresser, takes all the books off the shelf, dumps the entire toy box out onto the floor…you know…kid stuff.  Today, however, all of her normal “naptime” activities weren’t exciting enough. 

Today was more of an empty-an-entire-jar-of-Vaseline-all-over-the-bedroom kind of day.  And I mean an entire jar.

She spread it on the curtains, the dresser, closet doors, window sill, window, her bed, a book, and all over her face and hair.  I had to use a putty knife to scrape it up off the window seat.  Thankfully she didn’t get any of it on the carpet.  Her skin has a nice sheen to it and she’s sporting an attractive Greaser Hairstyle now. 

You might be asking yourself, “Who's the dumb idiot that left a jar of Vaseline in a toddler’s bedroom?”

Big Boy did it.

Ok.  Fine.  I did it.

Diseased

Our little girl is sick with a terrible cold again.  She’s had a habit of picking up viruses lately and it makes everyone tired and grumpy.  The one upside to having her feel miserable is that she wants to snuggle.  I do love that part.

Last night I let her sleep with me because Myke was working late and I was tired of running back and forth to her bedroom.  In the middle of the night she rolled over, stroked my cheek and said I was beautiful.  I nearly cried.  Then she commenced thrashing around like a rabid dog, kicking me and smacking my face, and the moment vanished.  At one point I was on the very edge of the bed with only a sliver of blanket.  It was a long night.

Consequently, this Mama is tired from lack of sleep.  But I look so beautiful, you’d never know it.    

Globetrotter

We went on a safari today in Africa and Eva was lucky enough to be able to sit on a wild animal!

Disclaimer:  By “Africa” I mean the library.  And by “Wild animal” I mean a stuffed elephant.

Still.  It was very exciting and practically the same thing.

Public Humiliation

Well, she did it.  Eva made me feel like a jackass in the grocery store.  And not just any jackass; one with no control over her bratty, ill-behaved child.

Eva threw the biggest fit of her life today and she kindly saved it for until we were inside the store and I already had a cart full of groceries.  I’m talking a piercing scream, legs kicking, arms flailing kind of fit.  She even took off her shoes and chucked them over the side of the cart.  And her pacifier.  (Yes, she still has a pacifier.  Chalk that up as another one of my parenting flaws.)  You see, a few weeks ago I let her help me push the flat bed at Costco.  Now she thinks it’s her right to push every cart in every store we enter.  Today was no exception.  She wanted to push the cart and I wouldn’t let her.  First of all, I needed to hurry and it’s torture having a toddler push the basket.  Secondly, it was a larger grocery cart and she couldn’t even reach the handle.  Apparently not being able to reach is an invalid argument because she freaked out when I told her no.  And she continued to freak out once I put her inside the cart.  And continued until we reached the check-out. 

I was mortified!  People were staring and judging me.  I usually don’t mind strangers’ glares when my child is misbehaving, but this fit was so intense I was humiliated.  It went beyond Eva being upset to Eva being bratty. I was sweating and panicked because I didn’t know what to do.  I really wanted to march her out to the car and give her the what-for, but I didn’t know what to do with my cart of food.  I’ve never been in this predicament before. 

So I ignored her and hurriedly finished my shopping.  A few people made comments to me about the intensity of her screams but I ignored them too.  I was exhausted by the time we made it back to the car and gave Eva an emphatic, “No!” when she asked to listen to The Little Mermaid music.  I lectured her for a few minutes and then turned the radio up and ignored her screaming all the way home.

I’m too old and tired for this toddler business.

Happy New Year!

We went to our friend’s house again for New Year’s Eve this year.  While we were loading into the car, Eva insisted on having Elmo strapped in next to her.  She calls it, “All tuck in.”

He looks pretty comfy.  We had a fun time playing games and eating a grocery store's worth of food.  (Or maybe that was just me.)  Unfortunately, we had to leave before midnight because Eva became a terrible grump.  It’s miserable to have a kid throwing fits at someone else’s house.  Also unfortunately, I inadvertently had a repeat of last year and was on the toilet when the clock struck 12. 

My New Year’s resolution is to not do that again.  3 years in a row would just be embarrassing.