Thursday, April 27, 2017

Owie

Do you want me to hurt your feelings? 

You’re ugly.

Just kidding.  I think you’re semi-attractive.  But I still want to make your heart hurt so you can have some empathy for me.


We went to the tulip farm last week.  Let's wander back and gaze at pictures from 2013 when we visited the farm for the first time:

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Now come back to reality and look at our trip last week.

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Owie.  My heart hurts.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Fancy Pants

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What's wrong with this picture? 

The baby headband tightly squeezing my child’s oversized head? 

That my kid is clearly eating chocolate chips with her breakfast? 

Maybe it’s that someone left the utensil drawer ajar.

Perhaps it’s that Eva is using the trash can as a table.  The trash can.

Yup.  That’s the kind of mother I am.  Just building up that ol’immune system. 

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Happy Easter!

The heavens showed mercy on us and the sun came out for Easter weekend.  Saturday and Sunday were perfectly sunny until Sunday evening.  When the rain began to pour down again I felt my senses recoil in sadness.  Where are you, summer?

We went to a community Easter egg hunt on Saturday which was uncomfortably crowded and chaotic.  There were so many people that we couldn’t even see Eva hunting for eggs.  None of the adults could see their kids and the crowd became somewhat hostile.  I naively thought it would be a calm gathering since you had to buy tickets to get in and there was a cap to the number of tickets sold.  Apparently the cap was infinity because it was a madhouse.  The swarms of greedy kids and even greedier parents didn’t react well with my social anxiety.  Eva was oblivious and had a wonderful time.  Her only disappointment was when she informed us that the Easter bunny was just a woman in a costume.  Sorry, Eva.  But she scored a lot of candy at the egg hunt and that seemed to appease her.  I assume she had to knock a few kids over to come away with such a haul.  Good girl. 

Happy Easter 2

Happy Easter

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The REAL Easter bunny visited us on Sunday and left Eva with even more candy and a new princess watch.  She promptly put it on and then announced the time every minute for a few hours.  At bedtime she took off her watch and said, “I’m going to put this in your jewelry box so it can be safe.  I’ll put it by your special jewelry.”  Her watch is now part of the special jewelry in our house.  I love it.

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We rounded out the day by dying eggs and then having our friends over for a pot roast dinner and games.  I rounded out the evening by eating an entire bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs.  My stomach was rounded out by bedtime.  It was a nice day.

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Happy Easter!

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Spring Break

Want to have a fabulously fantastic Spring Break?  Invite your sissy over.  The weather will suck most of the week.  You’ll go to the coast and it will feel like Antarctica.  Your daughter will get pummeled by a wave and shiver and cry from the cold, wailing, “I never want to go to the beach again!  Except in the summer!”  You'll have to eat your lunch shivering in the back of the van but you’ll still have a fabulously fantastic time.  You will watch movies and eat popcorn every night, you’ll go shopping and watch your niece change her pants in the parking lot while a stranger looks on, you’ll play Tetris and Dr. Mario, eat crepes for breakfast, go to the temple, sleep in, and laugh and laugh and laugh. 

It will be fabulously fantastic and it will be over far too quickly.

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Can’t it be Spring Break every week?