Numero Five-o

My daughter lost her 5th tooth recently.  Soon my daughter will have no teeth left to lose. That will be a sad day, but it will also be a very good day for my pocketbook.  I mean...the Tooth Fairy's pocketbook.

It was a biggie this time - a front tooth!

Eva carefully crafted her request to the Fairy of the Night.  (Hmmm...maybe that's not a good nickname for the Tooth Fairy.)  I'll work on that.

 In case you're wondering why my daughter was biting my sweater, let me explain.  I DON'T KNOW! She's been on a kick recently where she bites my clothes and thrashes around like a dog with a rag doll.  I don't get it and I don't like it.  Hence, my 'yanking' of the sweater from her jaws.

Of course, my little princess went ahead and asked for Zotz - only the most impossible candy to find unless you live near a quaint drugstore in small-town Idaho.  Which I don't.  Hence, the Cuspid Collector had to improvise. (Hmmm...maybe that's not a good nickname either.)

Kitty didn't seem to mind that she didn't get the Zotz.  After all, she scored 7 quarters! Later that afternoon I told Kitty we could spend her wealth at the quarter machines in the mall.  First, I had to quickly help someone move.  Well, that quickly turned into a 3 hour project.  Kitty was very patient even though she was dying to spend her loot.  One of the guys helping with the move was impressed with Kitty's tolerance and gave her 6 more quarters to add to her stash.  My kitty was able to spend 13 quarters on the machines in the mall. 13!

I didn't tell her that she spent $3.25 on approximately 80¢ worth of candy.  I'm just happy Kitty felt like she hit the jackpot. 

That Weirdo with Wings sure knows how to make a kid happy.

Hmmm...now that's a nickname.

Report Card

Eva received her 2nd term report card a few weeks ago.  On a scoring scale of 1-4, she scored 3’s and 4’s in every category.  We didn’t have to go to parent teacher conference because her teacher had nothing to talk to us about.  I’m sure it would have just been an embarrassing brag session.  Mrs. Nielsen sent home her evaluation on paper instead of in person.  Here she be:

I feel like a responsible parent would feel obligated to tell their yakker to be quiet during class time.

I feel no such obligation.

Given that she is the product of 2 awkwardly-quiet parents, I’m relieved she’s social. 

Plus, I’m not a responsible parent.

Animal Clinic

I have a new job! 

I am now working at an animal hospital.  From home.  I’m not really interested in this field and I’m not fond of sick animals, but here I am.

I have strict orders from my boss on how to care for the animals in our hospital.  I currently have 2 patients in my care; it’s going well so far.

Tiffany the otter is sick with a cold.  Her symptoms include coughing, sneezing, and weakness.  She also has a fever of 190°!  I’m tenderly wiping her nose and rubbing her back when she coughs.

Fantasia the rainbow-unicorn-kitty had a most unfortunate accident.  She fell out of an airplane and landed on train tracks.  Then a train came and ran over her paw!  I tenderly wrapped her paw with a bandage and I’m comforting her when the pain is unbearable.

Boy, this is a tough job.

My boss will be home from Kindergarten this afternoon.  I sure hope she approves of my work.