Boring?! BORING?!

A very rude, mildly attractive, freakishly tall person told me that my posts have been boring lately and he’s thinking about not reading anymore and joining a cult instead.  I’ve moved his name on my spreadsheet from the “Friends” column to the “Bastards” column.  His Christmas card this year will include a recommendation list of cults to join.  I’ve already started compiling it.

I recognize I haven’t posted in a while but boring?  That’s harsh.  That stings.  That makes me sound like Ben Stein. 

I’m sorry if nothing exciting has happened lately.  I wasn’t accosted at the post office yesterday by a woman with facial hair and orange fingernails for putting Eva up on the counter while I searched the caverns of my purse for my credit card.  I didn’t think about stabbing her in the eye with my pen.  I’m sorry, but I didn’t curtly respond to her that I could handle it and Eva would run away if I set her down.  I most certainly did not tell her to, “have a nice day” in a very patronizing tone.  I’m sorry I never see anything abnormal when I’m out in public.  I didn't walk into the Y behind a woman wearing a dress with the hairiest legs I’ve ever seen on a woman.  I did not think for a moment that I was having a Big Foot sighting and attempt to inform the media.   I’m sorry she was going swimming and I didn’t wonder how she was going to maneuver the water with that much drag.  I guess I’m just on a down swing of excitement right now.

I suppose I’m offended/hurt/seeking counseling for the boring comment because I have exactly two talents; cooking and being witty.  And being witty while I’m cooking.  I can’t be witty and boring at the same time, so which is it?

I think I know the answer.

AJ is a bastard.

Idaho

I had a great time visiting my family.  It’s always nice to be home.  Now that I’ve experienced mild weather, I don’t want to live in Idaho, but I do wish my family would move close to me.  No one is taking the bait.

The weather was hot.  It was perfect for swimming and sweating.  I felt like I needed to burn my clothes once I returned home.  I spent a lot of time sweating.  Thankfully my parents have central air.  A few highlights:

Firekracker 5k on the 4th of July.  I ran it with my favorite attorney, Michael.  We became friends in 9th grade when he let me cheat off of his Geometry homework.  (I still blame him for not knowing Geometry.)  We’ve experienced a lot together and he’s one of the constants in my life.  He’s a feisty S.O.B. and I love him dearly.   

We forgot to get our picture taken before the race so this is a selfie in front of my sister’s house once we finished.  It was a fun time.  We averaged a nice pace and had a great conversation during the run.  I was sad it was only 3 miles because I wanted to keep chatting.  There’s something really nice about being with old friends.  It’s comforting.   

After the race we stayed for the parade.  It was really hot, people kept standing in front of us, and the candy was crap.  I had a great time anyway. 

So did Eva.

My sister, Chris has a cotton candy machine.  It’s been a weird obsession of hers for a long time.  In a grand, romantic act, her husband bought her one.  Now he regrets it.  But I sure don’t!

 

 

I was pretty sick of cotton candy by the time I left.                                    

 

We made the journey to Lava Hot Springs, the best swimming establishment in all of Southeast Idaho.  I spent the day eating and bossing kids around.  Pretty much my ideal day.  They had a new kiddie section this year that Eva loved.  She must have gone down the slide a hundred times.  Thankfully it was indoors and the water was heated so I didn’t mind standing there.

This might seem weird but I like sitting on Chris.  I used to sit on her lap during Drama class in high school.  It was way better than a chair.  Still is.

My dad had friends visiting from Norway so we went to Yellowstone.  It was hot and a bit crowded but we saw a lot of animals and had a great time.  We went on a little nature hike at the Yellowstone Grand Canyon and it started pouring rain.  Before we went my dad offered umbrellas when he saw the clouds rolling in but we all told him it was a dumb idea because it was so hot and sunny.  Turns out you should always listen to your father.

 

We had a fire in the backyard of my parents’ house where I gorged myself on a million S’mores.  I have an obsession with S’mores and eat them until I’m sick.  They are one of life’s wonderful pleasures.

And then a BBQ at Chris’ house where Eva discovered the neighbor’s sprinkler.

My sister, Camilla did a Triathlon while we were there.  It was a lot of fun to watch and cheer her on but I would never do that sport.  Mostly because I swim like a horse and have a dislike for bicycles other than my cruiser.  She did a magnificent job and I was really impressed with her athleticism.  I do not appreciate, however, that I went running with her a few times and she made me increase my pace. 

And then it was time to drive home.  I filled my car with lots of gems; a case of Head Country BBQ sauce, a table and chairs for Eva that my mom restored, (it belonged to my dad when he was a child), treasures from my Grandpa’s house, and my niece.  I was so grateful she was with me.  She handed me fries while I drove, took care of Eva, and told me secrets about her brothers.  It was awesome!

                                            This is at a gas station in Pendleton.                        

This is my niece.  She’s only 12 but excellent company.

Sigh.  I wish I could have stayed all summer.  It was hard to come home. 

Year in Review

Fine.  I admit it.  I'm a procrastinator.  I put off until tomorrow anything that doesn't incur a late fee.  I've always been this way and I'm too much of an old dog to want to change.  I view it as more of a quirk, not a flaw.  It's the same when I criticize others, gossip, get mad at Michael, and hold a grudge.  I'm just a quirky gal.

I tell you this to explain my lack of posting recently.  Now you understand and you'll stop cursing me.

So the past few weeks have felt like a dream.  I was in Idaho for a while, had my niece at my house for a week, and bid farewell to my closest friend in Oregon as she moved to Virginia.  It's weird how quickly July has run out and how many different emotions have been twirling around me.  

I want to tell you about my fabulous trip home and how much fun I had with my 12 year-old niece.  I want to share my feelings about saying goodbye to the friend who sustained me my first year in Oregon away from family.  I have cool pictures you'll want to see.  I've made a decision about my weight loss that I think you'll be interested to hear.  I might even make you laugh a little.

How about I tell you all about it tomorrow.

  

Still Breathing

Don’t worry.  I haven’t forgotten about you.

Unwell

Congested? Check.

Headache? Check.

Sore Throat? Check.

Un-showered at 1:00 p.m.?  Check.

It’s the best day of Eva’s life.  I’ve hired a babysitter.  It’s called Sesame Street.

Don’t judge me.

Epic Success

This is going to be a long post.  Proceed at your own risk and feel free to skim.

Weigh-in can wait. Let’s talk about the relay.  How can I accurately describe the experience?  Exhausting.  Insane.  Exhilarating.  Fun.  It was, well, Epic.

I mentioned before that our team had 12 members.  We were split between 2 vans.  The women were in one and the men in the other.  We were each assigned a number that was our running order.  The women were runners 1-6 and the men were 7-12.  Each of our distances were different based on how the course was broken up and which number we were assigned.  I was runner number 4 and my position was ranked 7th in difficulty, with 1 being the most difficult and 12 the least.  I’m grateful that I had an easy assignment for my first experience.  We started with runner number 1 and worked our way through each of our legs.  After all 6 women had finished, we handed off to the men and were free to do whatever we wanted until they were done and ready to pass back to us.  There was a lot of time to sit around.  We talked and ate and shared secrets.

So let’s start at the beginning:

The most important thing I packed…the food.  We all brought snacks but my food was the most eaten.  Even the guys wanted my food.  Every time we met up with them, they asked for my snacks.  I was very flattered.  What can I say?  I know food.

 

Here I am all packed up and ready to go.

    

As it turned out, I had completely over packed.  I followed the suggested list but didn’t need most of the items.  It was annoying to dig through that darn duffel bag over and over again looking for stuff.

Mykey sent flowers and balloons on Thursday afternoon.  He expressed to me many times that he was proud of me for doing the race.  I really appreciated it. He was very supportive during my training and took over Saturday mornings for months so I could go out on long runs.  Michael was very integral to my success.

Here we are loading the van at 6:30 a.m. Friday.

If you're good at counting, you’ll see that our 6th female runner isn’t in the picture.  We picked her up on the way out of town.  

Our van arrived at the starting line around 8:00 a.m. while the men were able to sleep in and gather up last minute items we had forgotten.  They met us later in the day at the end of our first legs.  At 8:30, our first runner took off and the rest of us piled into the van and drove along her route to the end of the leg where the exchange would take place.  On the longer distances, we would wait at the halfway point to give water and encouragement.  On shorter distances, we just drove directly to the exchange point.  The active runner wore a reflective bracelet that was handed off to the next runner at the exchanges.

Here I am just before my first leg.  I was really nervous and felt a little sick to my stomach waiting for the handoff.  But it turned out very well. 

I started just before 11 a.m.  I began in Newberg and finished in St. Paul.  (Not Minnesota.)  The route was mostly flat with about a mile of incline.   Most of the route was running along the St. Paul highway so that was kind of scary.  The shoulder was small and there were a lot of semi trucks.  The force of the passing trucks would take my breath away.  My shirt flew up a couple of times and showed the other cars my post-baby gut, but I think the motorists enjoyed it.  Who doesn’t love a sweaty gut?  It had been cloudy for most of the morning but the sun came out right before I was starting.  The sun shone on me the entire time and I ended up with a sunburn on my face.  I was mad about that.  The details:

Total distance: 4.56 miles

Time: 42:02

Average: 9:18/mile

I was shocked when I finished and looked at my watch.   It was a great way to start!

After I handed the bracelet off, I stripped down in the van, wiped off with baby wipes, and put clean clothes on.  This was the routine after each leg. 

We met the guys around 12:30 p.m. when our last female runner handed the bracelet off to runner number 7.  We then had about 4 hours of downtime.  We had lunch and drove to the exchange point in Silverton where we would receive the handoff from the men.  The exchange point was at the high school so we laid our sleeping bags out on the lawn and sat around and talked.  It was really hot and there wasn’t much shade.  We ended up moving to the sidewalk under a tree after a while.  We took over from the men just shy of 5 p.m.

One of the teams was called The Michael Bolton Running Club.  They blasted Michael Bolton music from their van and had pictures of him plastered everywhere.  They had a cardboard cutout that they hauled around at each exchange.  We couldn’t resist getting a picture with Michael Bolton. 

Here I am gearing up for my 2nd run.  I was nervous again but for different reasons.  I could feel that my legs were a little stiff, and the sandwich I ate for lunch was sitting in my stomach like a lead weight.  But again, it turned out well.

I began my 2nd run around 8:00 p.m.  I started in Sublimity and finished in Stayton.  The sun was setting and the temperature had cooled down quite nicely.  It was a quick run and I was nearly finished by the time my team drove by.  They had overestimated how long it would take me.  The details:

Distance: 2.41 miles

Time: 21:22

Average: 8:54/mile

I haven't run that fast since high school!  The best part was that there was a woman right on my heels as we started out.  I could see her in the corner of my eye and she was making a move to pass me.  However, right then the shoulder ran out and she would have had to step into traffic to pass me.  It was also the beginning of an incline.  I started up the hill and within a few minutes, I had lost her.  All of my hill training paid off!  I was significantly ahead of her by the end.  In fact, our team left the exchange before she ever arrived.  I felt pretty good about that.  During this time that we were running our 2nd legs, the men went out to Mexican food and saw the new Tom Cruise movie.  They regretted it when they had to run in the middle of the night with burritos in their stomachs and no sleep.

We handed off to the bloated and tired men around 10:30 and drove to Corvallis to catch some sleep before it was our turn again.  Unfortunately, our navigator was too busy talking instead of navigating and we drove in the wrong direction for 10 minutes.  We didn’t arrive to the exchange point until 11:15 and it was nearly midnight by the time we had everything set up to sleep.

We didn’t sleep.  As I was laying on the cold ground at Corvallis High School I regretted agreeing to the relay.  There were a lot of lights illuminating the lawn, it was freezing and humid outside, and there was constant noise due to teams arriving to sleep.  I tossed and turned and slept for maybe an hour. 

 

I wanted to cry when the men called at 3:00 a.m. to say their last runner had just started his leg.  We rolled up our wet sleeping bags, put on our wet shoes, and waited for the guys to arrive.  We took over just before 4. 

I was feeling really nervous about my final leg.  I was exhausted and sore.  I shoved some trail mix down my throat, took a caffeine pill, and waited for my turn.  I hit the road around 5:45 a.m.  I started in Corvallis and finished in Peoria.  The details:

Distance: 7.36 miles

Time: 1:13:04

Average: 9:54/mile

It was amazing.  The sun was just starting to rise, the temperature was perfect, and I was running along a country road through farm land.  It was beautiful.  (Except for the dead cat I passed.  As I was running by, I had this irrational thought that it was going to jump up and claw my face off.  It didn’t.  It really was dead.)  My legs were sore through the entire run, but I never felt like I couldn’t make it.  I felt strong.  I felt proud.  I actually kind of felt like a real runner.  I contemplated how much I’ve accomplished over the past few months and enjoyed the victory.  It was really nice to have the quiet time to reflect.  And I passed another runner.  That made me feel pretty cool.

Here I am after the run.

I felt great for a while and then the stomach started churning.  Every time I do a long run, I get the most terrible stomachache.  It lasts for hours and I don’t appreciate it.  Once my stomach started hurting, I was ready to go home.

Here we are handing off to the men for the final time.

This is our entire team except for the one guy who was out running.  He was a bit offended we took the picture without him but it was our only chance to have everyone together.  Two of our women had to get home for their kid’s dance recital so I ended up heading out early with them.  I arrived home at 2:30 p.m. on Saturday afternoon.  I was stinky and exhausted. 

I ran a total of 14.33 miles.  I used porta-potties, I slept on the ground, I got naked in front of other women.  I laughed, I worried, I ran, I succeeded.  It was one of the best experiences of my life and I’m excited to do it again.

I deserve a medal after all of that.

Epic

I’m heading off to the Epic Relay on Friday morning.  I began training for this race in March and now it’s time to run.  I feel ready.  I’ve put in the hours and I’m ready. 

Our team has 12 runners: 6 men and 6 women.  We begin at 8:30 on Friday morning outside of Portland and will finish in Eugene sometime Saturday afternoon.  There will be someone from our team running during that entire time.  We will cover a total distance of 187.63 miles.  I’m pretty excited about it.

The distances of my assigned legs are 4.56 miles, 2.41 miles, and 7.36 miles.  I will be running them in that order.  My only concern is that my longest distance is my final leg.  If I get any sleep Friday night, it will be in a field somewhere.  I worry about aching joints and fatigue.  I also worry about having enough energy after eating only peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and Cheez-its.  And Sour Patch Kids.  I bought a giant bag of Sour Patch Kids.  They’ll probably be what saves me from exhaustion.

I’m looking forward to cementing friendships and enjoying girl time.  I’m looking forward to the accomplishment.  I’m looking forward to being done with my training schedule.  Running 4 days a week is a lot for a lazy person such as I.

I’m dreading the stench that will be following me around after running and not bathing.  I’m dreading the same stench from 5 other women in the van with me.  I’m dreading porta-potties and changing my clothes on the side of the road.  I’m really dreading sleeping on the ground.  More than anything else, I’m dreading sleeping on the ground.  I’m going to be mighty ugly by Saturday.  Good thing we’re bringing a video camera. 

Bring on the adventure.

Now, to all of my friends in Southeastern Idaho: there’s an Epic Relay that runs from Logan to Jackson Hole.  Don’t you want to get in on the action?