Metaphor for Life

I’ve been feeling a bit glum this week…just one of those times when life seems unfair and unfun.

I was driving to my weight-lifting class at the YMCA – yes, I lift weights; no, you can’t tell because my muscles are safely hidden beneath my chub – and as I was approaching a stop light, a giant flock of birds was above me in the sky, just ahead of my view.  They were soaring and diving, circling around and diving some more.  It looked as though they were chasing each other in a fun bird-soaring game.

My radio was on and the birds seemed to be flying and diving in rhythm with my music.  Their feathers were a beautiful palette of blue, gray, and white, and as I sat there watching the majestic show, I began to feel better.  Sure, life is challenging and tiresome at times, but it’s not all bad.  Look at these lovely, graceful birds relishing their gift of flight.

Just as I was about to completely switch my attitude from dull to delightful, I gazed up in awe one final time at the birds and…

SPLAT!

Sliding down my windshield, directly in front of my face, was an oozing reminder that life is simultaneously beautiful and full of crap. 

So there it is, my new life motto.

With the birds come the turds.

Happy New Year

What did you do to celebrate the arrival of January?

We went to the zoo.  They have lights and animals around the holidays.  It’s very exciting.

We bundled up and hit zoo town.  Eva brought along her kitty Alassia to join in the fun.

We saw the lights…

We soared like condors…

And we roared like lions.  Some of us very frighteningly. 

We were tired and freezing after wandering through the zoo for a few hours, but it sure was fun.  And we timed it so we were making our exit right as the big crowds started filing in.  This lioness knows what she’s doing.

Here’s to a happy 2019!

Lackadaisical Approach

My laziness as a parent is steadily climbing to its pinnacle.  Being childless for so many years, I had gobs of time to think about all the faults of other parents, and how I was not going to be like those lazy weasels.

Now I have a kid and I’m like those lazy weasels. And I only have 1 kid – can you imagine the depths of my lazy weasely-ness if I had multiple children?  I shudder.

When Eva first started Kindergarten, I was fervent about getting out the door on time.  School starts at 9:15, we were in the car at 9:00. Sometimes 8:59.  Those were especially good days when I was running the morning like a four-star general. 

Now it’s January.  Can you see the weasel fur growing along my spine?  It’s there and it’s coming in thick.

School still starts at 9:15 but now we’re shuffling to the car around 9:08, sometimes 9:10 if I’ve spent too much time putting mustache wax on my weasel whiskers.  I’m basically driving Eva up to the school, slowing the car down to a crawl, and shoving her out the door while shouting, “Tuck and roll, baby!  Tuck and roll!” 

I partly dawdle getting Eva to school because I hate having her leave me every morning.  All of these months later and my heart still aches when I watch her walk through the front doors of the school.  It’s sad driving back to my empty burrow with only a geriatric dog for company.  I mean, I love the old canine but he pees on the floor and doesn't respond when I ask for his opinion on the way I’ve coifed my fur.   

Getting to school is not my only struggle.  Sometime during the week, my eyes will widen and I’ll think, “Hmmm…when’s the last time Eva had a bath?”  I usually can't precisely pinpoint the day.  Eva never volunteers to bathe herself and she never knows the last time she was washed either – a right weasel-in-training.  I’ve now had to write on her calendar the days she needs to bathe.  But even then I don’t always follow through – it’s hard to wash her hair with my tiny weasel arms. 

You’d think I’d be more together since I only have 1 child and no job. 

You’d think that, but you’d be wrong.

That’s a lazy weasel for you.

Nutcracker

I was poking around through my camera roll recently and realized I had failed to mention Eva’s ballet recital.  What kind of mother am I?

The easily-distractible kind. 

Wait.  What were we talking about?

Oh, yes, Kitty’s recital.  It was the Nutcracker and my baby was a gingerbread girl.  She was the cutest little gingerbread girl you ever did see.

Like most things in life, the whole ordeal was a mixture of happiness and grumpiness.  First of all, the recital didn’t start until the evening, and then it started 30 minutes late.  Michael and I ran to get dinner beforehand at the closest place we could find.  It turned out to be KFC – terrible choice – and I spent most of the recital wishing I could open a hatch and empty out my stomach contents. Seriously.  Worst meal ever.

BUT - Kitty was adorable onstage.  There was a part where her little hat fell off and she spent a good amount of time fiddling with it instead of dancing; kind of a bummer.  Bad call on having hats on 6-year-olds.  Just sayin’.

It was after 9pm by the time the show was over, and you can guess how Kitty reacted. 

She was a tired grump.

So was I.

And Michael took approximately 32 blurry photos.  I didn’t say anything rude to him about it.  Or maybe I did.  No matter.

But even as a tired grump, she’s so darn cute.

I love her! (And the blurry-photo guy too.)

Christmas Vacation

I wait all year for Christmas vacation, and then – poof – it’s over just like that.  I just don’t get it.
We made our annual trek to Idaho again this year, where we enjoyed late nights of playing games, outings to all of our favorite local restaurants, the gingerbread house competition, and lots and lots of treats. Lots.
I am about to explode with photos, so brace yourself.  Get a snack and a beverage; you’ll be here a while.
So…what’s the best thing about Idaho?  Well, if you’re Eva, it’s the snow!
The first thing she did when we hopped out of the car at Grandpa's office was run through the snow.

The first thing I did when we hopped out of the car was shriek, “Holy crap!  It’s cold!”
Eva played in the snow many times and she told me every time that she didn’t need a coat to play in the snow.  I guess the excitement kept her warm.


Perhaps the 2nd best thing about going to Idaho is the gingerbread house competition.  We never win but enjoy the fun regardless.  This year Eva decorated her own graham cracker house.  My mom and I had a tough time figuring out how to build the little graham cracker houses for the kids.  An entire box of graham crackers yielded only three measly houses – guess we should have utilized Google a bit sooner.  Or the dadgum graham cracker manufacturers should make their crackers more sturdy.  Those darn things crack just by looking at them.
No matter.  Eva’s little house turned out great.  She dictated to me exactly what she wanted and my only role was to pipe the frosting. 


And here’s the house that Myke and I built.  Not bad for coming in with no plans and candy that we purchased last minute at the Broulim’s grocery store.  We only received one vote; thank you, Lydia.  You’re now my favorite niece.

You’re probably wondering what the 3rd best thing about Idaho is.  Well, it just has to be opening presents on Christmas morning.  Especially when  you’ve worked so hard to write a note for Santa.  In your bunny earmuffs.  And don't forget that your mother worked really hard choosing out a piece of chocolate for Santa from Aunt Chelsea’s basket.  (Your mother was too lazy to bake cookies for the jolly old man, but let’s not dwell on that detail.) 

Santa was good to Eva this year.  He even brought her a glowing art kit!  Eva had a fun time picking out gifts for her cousins and Dexter the cat and Puppets the dog.  She was very thoughtful in her choices. Christmas morning was a success and Christmas afternoon at Grandma Lisa’s was another success.  Cousins everywhere!

Which brings us to the 4th good thing about Idaho: cousins!  Eva was able to go sledding with her cousins, color and draw with her cousins, and play, play, play.  We love cousins.

The 5th good thing this year was that we visited the Idaho Falls temple visitor’s center, where we tried to get a cute picture of our family.  We captured Eva shoving a fistful of snow into her mouth like a savage instead.  Oh well, at least it wasn’t yellow snow.

Michael’s favorite things were nerd time with my brother building a robotic arm, and seeing Marty’s aquarium.  Marty also had a dancing cockatoo named Popeye who squawked, “What are you doing?” And, best of all, Marty had a playroom for Eva that made her swoon – certainly a bunch of really good things.


We mustn’t forget the wonderful evening we had with our dear friends, the Myers.  They were our next door neighbors when we lived in Idaho Falls, and we love them!  The Myers’ 4 kids were little when we first moved in next to them – now 2 are married and only one is still at home.  Oy vay!

And what’s the best thing of all?  Coming home from Idaho with treasures.  Eva snagged a Calvin and Hobbes book that she read for a good portion of our drive, and continues to read, a nightstand that Grandma made, and the ultimate score was an original painting of the Salt Lake temple.  Treasures galore.


That’s a lot of darn good things about going to Idaho.  No wonder I look forward to it all year.  Now only 354 days until we go again.
But who’s counting…

Thanksgivin’

We found ourselves without plans for Thanksgiving.  My parents had to cancel on us after a scheduling conflict, most of our friends were leaving town, and here we were, no one to party with. 

Alllll byyyyy myseeeeelf.  You know the song.

But it turned out to be the most perfect Thanksgiving.  We stayed in our jammies all day, had zero stress about the meal, played King’s Quest on the computer for hours, and finished a puzzle.  I didn’t even have to make dessert – we had ice cream instead.

Perfection indeed.

Gobble, gobble!