40 and Fabulous!

If you're looking for a good time, I'd suggest turning 40.  Sure, you're halfway to death at 40, but it's not all bad being old.  There are a lot of great things about being old.

• You can smell like urine with impunity
• Strangers don't flirt with you anymore
• There's a new pain in your bones every morning
• Pants with elastic waistbands
• Eating dinner at 4:00

I mean, come on, it's great.  I have the added pleasure of being old and still having acne.  I consulted my medically-trained sister about when I could finally expect my acne to go away.  You know, cuz I'm 40 now.  Do you know what she said?

Never.  It's never going away.

Pssh...Nurse Practioners.  What a buncha turds.

I'll have to squirrel away extra money for my funeral.  I'm sure the mortician will have a supplemental charge to put cover-up on my acne.

Pssh...morticians.  What a buncha turds.  

But seriously, being 40 isn't all bad.  My friends took me to lunch and gave me racy gifts.  I got a pedicure.  Mykey bought me a watch and wireless earbuds for my runs.  Kitty made me a card and announced to her teacher at school that I'm 40 now.  I used cash from my parents to get new jeans. I got an Amazon gift card from my mother-in-law.  My Relief Society counselors and secretary bought me an ice cream cake.  I'll turn 40 everyday if I keep getting ice cream cakes.  

Perhaps the best part about my birthday was Mykey planning an entire day for me.  He even arranged for Eva to stay with her friend so we could be alone.  What a good guy.  We went zip lining to prove that 40 is the new 20.  Neither of us broke a hip so it turned out alright.  We also ate the most delicious tacos from a hole-in-the-wall we found while looking for a different restaurant.  

It was perfect. 

What a great birthday.  I think I'll turn 40 again next year.