Knee Slapper

Kitty makes me laugh.  Sometimes she makes me mad, and sometimes she makes me late, but most of the time, she makes me laugh.  

She does it with tidbits like these:

Naming Cows

We were in the car playing a game coming up with different names for cows.  

Me: "Moo-raca Cow likes to shake, rattle, and roll.  Moo-dy Cow can't decide if he's happy or sad.  Moo-n Beam Cow likes space."

Kitty: "If I had a cow that wouldn't eat fish I'd call him Moo-Picky."

A riddle

Kitty: "Who texts you early in the morning but not late at night?"

Me: "Uh...I don't know."

Kitty: "A weirdo."

Politeness Patrol

Mykey rudely let one rip in Kitty's presence.

Kitty: (disgustedly) "Eww! Daddy! Check your shorts!"

Weight Watcher

Kitty was wandering around with her eyes closed pretending she didn't know what anything was.  She came up behind me and started pinching my bum.

Kitty: "Does this bum belong to Mom or Dad?" Pinch, pinch.

Me: "It's Dad."

Kitty: "Noooo!  It's Mom.  I recognize your voice.  Plus, Mom's bum is way more jiggly than Dad's"

Career Goals

Kitty accompanied me to visit a woman named Maddie in our ward and she brought along some rocks from her collection.  Kitty's telling her all about them and going on about the different varieties of rocks she has.

Maddie: "So, are you going to be a geologist when you grow up?"

Kitty: "Nah.  I'm on track to be a scientist."

Scientist

Kitty: "Do you know what the most poisonous gas on the Periodic Table is?"

Me: "Definitely not."

Kitty: "It's symbol is Df.  Daddy's Fluffs."

She ain't wrong about that one.