Old Woman

Something strange is happening to me.  My body is changing.  I'm pretty sure it ain't puberty.  It's much worse...I think I'm getting old.

As in, I'm actually an old woman.  It's very strange.  

I don't really want to admit that I'm morphing into a fogey, but perhaps I am. The more I ponder my behavior, the more I wonder.  Let's see...

• I carry a cardigan with me at all times. It's chilly in the grocery store, sonny!
• I have an abundance of chin whiskers.
• I'm ready for dinner at 4pm.  
• I have to squint when driving at night, and therefore don't want to be in the car after twilight. 
• I regularly employ the phrase, "Kids these days!"
• Sometimes I pee in my pants a little.
• Sometimes I pee in my pants a lot.
• I have distinct wrinkles around my eyes.
• Most of my pants have an elastic waistband.

Could it be possible?  Am I truly an oldster?

I took a selfie today just to verify if I'm ancient or not.

Well, I guess the camera doesn't lie.  I'd better fill up my purse with hard candies and used Kleenex.

Now you kids get off my lawn!